The Holidays: Amateur Nights on Steroids

It seems like every few weeks I surprise one of my second-stringer blue-pill acquaintances when I turn down his “irresistible invitation” to some “can’t-miss” weekend event or a bash for XYZ holiday. And, every time, I have to repeat the same sermon:

I don’t “go out” on amateur nights. Friday and Saturday are the nights every John Q. Paycheck goes out to the club, clogs it up with bad game, and starts beef when he realizes (toward the end of the night) that his hard-earned $150 didn’t get him anywhere. The girls are extra resistant—there mostly to attention-whore in the first place, already on alert, and quickly worn down by the stink of bad game in the air. The ratios are bad and the prices are high.

The holidays are junior-varsity like the weekends, but on steroids. The sausage fests are more intense, the prices are even higher, and the attention-whoring attitudes are on blast.

In the US these are:

1. St. Patrick’s Day
2. Cinco de Mayo
3. Independence Day
4. Halloween
5. New Year’s Eve

As far as I’m concerned, any seasoned guy comes to this conclusion sooner or later. This is Single-Guy Resource Management 101: pros stay home on amateur nights. If you’re still standing in lines outside of trendy clubs or bars on the weekend—or going out on the designated drinking holidays in hopes of snaring some low-hanging fruit—you’re probably doing it wrong. I’m not saying it’s not going to happen, I’m just saying that there are better ways to fill up your calendar, spend your precious time and money, or empty your testicles. You’re playing against the odds in a numbers game. But I don’t play the lottery. I run a business.

If that much is obvious, I’ve taken that lesson to its logical extreme: I avoid all hyped-up (promoted) events, most popular venues, and—here’s the timely part—pack it up completely for about the last two or three weeks of the year plus the first week of the new one. Like the Hollywood studios, I go into re-runs (girls I already know biblically). Almost nothing good happens in December and, unless you already have something going, it’s pretty much safe to go on cruise control. Girls go home for the holidays, people come visit girls for the holidays, and people pretty much shift into an end-of-year state of mind.

If girls are seasonal (and they are), their down season (winter) becomes their straight-up off-season come the holidays. “I’m super-busy,” becomes the go-to excuse, and it’s suddenly as if you’re trying to grab a drink with Condoleezza Rice instead of girl who works 30 hours a week at a framing store. A lot of guys don’t realize the slot machine isn’t paying out, but they keep dropping in money and pulling. But, for me: No New Year’s parties, no Christmas singles events, no hitting the pavement. A house party or a social-circle event is different, but I’m off the clock  when it comes to anything with a cover charge, fee, or hoops to jump through.

This year, I decided to go against my own road-tested rule and pushed hard leading up to the holidays. I’d had a slow start to 2012, but really picked up steam around the fall equinox. “Gotta close the year strong.” I was in full gallop working a series of promising fourth-quarter prospects. And, guess what: I had a staggering 80-percent flake rate for dates (4 out of 5 girls cancelled or attempted to re-schedule to an undesirable time/day). The one frigid chick who I managed to get out of the house out declared—with a straight face—that I “should look elsewhere if [I] want to have sex.” If you’d been there, you’d know she’s right.

I re-took my own lesson and decided to kick back, jerk off as needed, and catch up with people and work for the rest of the off-season. Just run out the clock.

I’m enjoying the rest.

Read More: “You Didn’t Have to Make Things Awkward”