My husband and I dated a few short months before marrying last year. We were both working full time and living alone before our marriage. Being a regular ROK reader and fan for nearly four years now, I recognized the potential benefits for our marriage when my husband presented the opportunity for me to stay at home.
My husband has a good job, is religious, and is somewhat traditional. For the first couple months staying at home, I was riddled with guilt about my husband working while I got to stay within the comforts of our home. I worried about being a financial burden and wondered what his family (all of who are very successful in their careers), friends, and coworkers would think of our situation.
After some months, these feelings mostly faded away as I began to see great benefits that my work was bringing to our life. Besides the obvious benefits of my husband knowing I’m safely working in our home and not parading in the streets all day, and having home cooked meals and a clean house, there were many other benefits we gained that surprised me.
1. Our Weight
My husband has lost 30 pounds since we married. Before we married, my husband was mostly ordering take out to the home or eating pre-packaged snacks and treats. Don’t get me wrong, I feed by husband plenty, but somehow he has still managed to effortlessly shed a ton of weight.
I cook him breakfast every morning before work, he usually has two helpings of our dinner meal, and we always have dessert with tea at night. Our friends are shocked that eating like this, especially dessert every night, hasn’t led to weight gain for both of us.
As for me, I was hardly eating at all before we married in order to keep down my weight. I often ate only one small meal a day. I was actually terrified that living with a man who ate so much would cause me to gain weight. Shockingly, I have not gained weight since our marriage despite eating at least three times as much as I was before (I now eat brunch, dinner, and dessert).
Being a Nutrition Science graduate, I have no logical explanation for being able to maintain my weight despite eating much more. I can only assume our weight loss and management are attributable to having most everything including bread, dessert, sometimes even yogurt, prepared from scratch.
My husband has a nice job but we are by no means rich. As I mentioned earlier, I was super concerned about being a financial burden staying at home and have my husband support us. However, my husband shocked me by saying that since we’ve been married, he has been able to save so much money.
Staying at home has definitely limited expenses on my end. When I was working and living alone, I would constantly make impulse purchases that added up. Filling up on gas, buying drinks or snacks outside because I was running around busy, and meeting friends for drinks or dinner out would make money disappear fast.
Now I mostly stay home unless we need something like groceries and I try and make meals from cheap ingredients and only buy what we really need. I have decreased purchases for myself down to next to nothing. For example, I have adopted a more natural approach to my beauty routine which my husband actually loves. Instead of getting expensive highlights once every two months or constantly restocking makeup, I have embraced my natural hair color and only use just enough makeup to look tidied up and fresh.
3. In Laws
The success of my husband’s family was pretty intimidating at first. My husband’s father is a doctor, his sister is in medical school, the other sister is an engineer, and his mother studied chemical engineering before getting married. With all these hardworking women in the family, I was scared what they would think of me with my lowly bachelor’s degree and opting to stay at home.
However, I was super pleased to hear that my in laws couldn’t be happier with the person their son married. They have seen how well I take care of their son and I think his mother sees that he is being taken care of like she would take care of him.
Even his go-getter sisters have been affected: they have both expressed to me that they want to eventually stay at home after they marry (one of them is affected upon seeing how her career could compromise this dream). I don’t think anyone was expecting me to take my role this seriously, least of all my husband, but my efforts have made an impact and I believe our home and marriage is a source of pride for my husband not only with his family, but also with his friends and coworkers.
I may not have a super impressive job, but one would be surprised how even nowadays a woman taking care of her home, husband, and herself can gain respect in even upper-class circles.
4. My Husband’s Demeanor
When we first married, my husband was very gentile with me. I believe he wasn’t fully sure how to own all the power I was giving him. However, over time, he began to get used to me serving him and me having my role. I couldn’t help but smile when he would ask “Where’s my tea?” or “Why didn’t you bring me water after breakfast?” He had come to expect these things from me and personally I feel it’s truly a pleasure to be needed. It makes me feel irreplaceable. It’s really the biggest compliment for me.
Being a stay at home wife (and hopefully mother one day sooner than later) has really benefitted us both in so many ways our first year of marriage. Of course, there are still times when I feel self-conscious about my status when people ask what I do, but I can honestly say this position feels right in so many ways for both of us.
When a housewife works hard in all aspects, amazing things can get done and she can become a source of pride for herself, her in laws, and most importantly her husband.
Read More: How I Tried To Turn A Ho Into A Housewife