Let Women Think You’re Their Dream Man

I want to take the time to illustrate a classic mistake many men make in trying to determine the methodology behind female mate choice: thinking like a dude.

Our strictly logical minds sometimes conclude that we have to actually hit most of the stated points on a woman’s checklist in order to “qualify” for that woman. This fails for one main reason above all: women rely more heavily on their emotions and feelings than do men when evaluating a potential mate.

A guy who merely appears to hit every point on the checklist in her dreams can punch well above his weight and render himself just as appealing as a guy who actually does, so long as he can sell her a dream that feels right to her.

To further illustrate this point, I’d like to present the story of former Texas Longhorn QB Matt Nordgren:

Matt Nordgren is an all-American, blue-eyed Texan charmer. A University of Texas quarterback and team captain, he led the Longhorns to a national championship in 2006. He signed to play with the Philadelphia Eagles later that year, but an unexpected injury pushed him into the family energy business instead.

Let’s get the real story in here.

Firstly, Matt Nordgren was never a starter at the University of Texas. He threw a grand total of fourteen passes his entire four year career, with no touchdowns and a single interception. He also ran for two touchdowns. He lived in Vince Young’s shadow for pretty much his whole career at Texas.

He never “led” the Longhorns to anything. Vince Young led the Longhorns to a national title in 2006, following a spectacular 2005 season. Matt Nordgren was on the sideline watching him do it and giving him breathers during practice. He was also not a team captain.

Secondly, Matt Nordgren never had a realistic shot at the NFL. He got a look simply because he went to a big program, had NFL bloodlines (father once played for the Cowboys) and looked the part on paper with a big frame, a strong arm, plus decent athleticism. The Eagles gave him a rookie contract that basically amounted to a tryout, and he didn’t even make it to training camp. He was a camp arm at best.

How does Matt Nordgren take this mediocrity and maximize its value? He simply sells the dream and allows women to make it a reality in their own heads.

Once they have seen his appearance and then read “Texas Longhorn QB”, and “Philadelphia Eagles” next to his name, they will make shit up if they have to in order to fit him into the image they’ve created in their head. Since they are women and not football coaches, the details of his mediocre playing career will remain largely irrelevant, especially if his image looks nice and makes them feel good about being with him.

Once the process of selling the dream (the dream in this case being the chance to date a good looking “superstar” quarterback) has been completed, little has to be done. She’s already developed an image in her head of his accomplishments based on her limited knowledge of his status indicators. Her mind has already made him into a superstar.

She’s already looking up to him as a result, and he is already pre-selected and approved in her head. Her imagination will do most of the remaining work for him. All he needs to do is let her buy into the dream, like so…

He says: “I was a QB at the University of Texas, and I played for the Eagles”.

She thinks: “Wow, I see Texas on my TV! My dad’s a fan! That team is really good. And the QB is kind of the leader of a team, right? This guy must have led them to all those wins and that championship I heard about that one year! The Eagles are in the NFL, so he must have been the best. Plus, he’s so good looking! What a catch!”

Reality: Barely played in college, eternal backup, not a team leader, never really played for or even went to training camp with the Eagles (they cut him very early).

Note how her rationalization hamster did most of the work for him, expanding upon the relatively simple image he gave with her own interpretation of his status indicators. He looks the part, so she just made him into the finished product she wanted him to be because that idea made her feel good. No need for him to do much convincing-she will see what she wants to see.

In a sexual sense, this allows him to punch well above his weight and enjoy a lifestyle that few college benchwarmers ever get to enjoy. Matt Nordgren now spends his time running around the reality TV/celebrity circuit, doing red carpet premiers, getting snapped by paparazzi and banging a bunch of pretty hot women, including some Hollywood starlets. His personal life gets more female and celebrity attention than that of some actual Pro Bowl NFL QBs and Heisman winners.

Nobody cares that his football career was largely a bust beyond the high school level or that he spent just about all of his college career on the bench. As far as women are concerned, there is little difference between his career and that of Vince Young, who was a vastly superior quarterback. All he needed to do was sell the dream and let women make it into the reality that works best for him.

Athletes are not the only ones with the ability to benefit from this kind of action. Normal guys can go much further if they also learn how to project and sell an image and then just let the female imagination (and her own hypergamy) do much of the leg work for them. Play the role of a marketing/advertising agency or agent, and view yourself as the product.

Chick logic can be quite annoying when encountered, but if you are able to avoid fighting it and instead make it work for you by allowing her wave of emotional rationalizations to up your own value, it can be turned into a useful tool.

Remember how female rationalization so often goes: if it feels good to her, then it is right, regardless of anything else. If the idea of you and/or being with you makes her feel good, then you are right, and the game can become a whole lot easier.

Read Next: The Secret To Approaching Older Women As A Young Man