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September 13th, 2013

The Art Of The Approach


I get a lot of emails asking for advice on how to approach fresh sluts or good girls, take your pick;  so here’s a breakdown that will help the newbies and provide a refresher course for the veteran players.

The first step in becoming great with women is learning How To Approach. Period. You can’t pull a girl and enjoy her fresh tasty tight pinkness without at first approaching her and building her interest through your verbal and body language skills.

Now you’re thinking, “I’m good looking so I get approached all the time”, well congrats for looking like a Greek god and being a minor celebrity in your bubble of a world; however MOST guys don’t look like Greek gods and will HAVE TO APPROACH in order to get laid. If you err in relying on being approached solely, then get ready for lots of lonely nights on your couch furiously masturbating to the latest Bang Bros video vixen.

There are 3 main components of the Art of The Approach: Mental, Physical and Instinctual.



Show me a cat approaching college co-eds on campus while he’s in a depression and his face is taut with anxiety over XYZ problems and I’ll show you a guy who’s getting blown out of the water. Girls have a sixth-sense for a guy who’s not congruent in what he says and how it comes across in their communication. YOUR mental well-being, first and foremost, is more important than you getting a night with Megan Fox at your local hotel. If you’re dealing with depression, anxiety or any type of mental illness, then take care of that first. Girls aren’t going anywhere.

Let’s say that you’re healthy mentally and are good to go. Then here’s the how Mental plays into the Art of The Approach:

Your internal monologue is being broadcast to the world through your eyes, your word choices and your body language.

Unless you’re the world’s best actor, you cannot hide the negative self-defeating thoughts flowing through your mind before you head out to approach girls; whether that’s at Coffee Bean or the club. I’ve mentioned it before in my 11 Step Prep article, but I’ll reiterate it again: affirmations work. Talk yourself up: “I’m a badass motherfucker, I’ve been blessed with great looks” (whether true or not; doesn’t matter), “I’m charismatic, girls WANT to be with me, girls want to date me, girls desire a dream guy just like ME”.

Call it corny, call it new age bullshit, call it multi-level marketing fuckery; but show me a player who CONSISTENTLY pulls quality ass and I’ll show you a player who’s positive and NOT self-defeating.

Get your positive thoughts flowing, smile in the mirror and get ready to get Physical…



Ever noticed how when you’re dressed in your favorite outfit, you just got a haircut and you worked out earlier in the day, that you feel unstoppable? Your mentality of self-worth will skyrocket when you combine the positive self-talk + taking care of yourself + dressing your best.

When you wear a suit, people show you more respect, girls eye-fuck you and valet brings your car to the front a lot quicker. Now, I’m not saying you have to wear a suit, what I’m saying is that you need to determine exactly what your Optimum Style is and make a real effort to maintain that look. If you’re a V-neck sweater + nice jeans type of cat, then rock the fuck out of that style. Whatever is making YOU feel confident, sexy and outgoing should be your go-to outfit and style.

How you feel mentally (positive), plus how you feel physically (clothes/working out) comes across in your Body Language. Body language is so fucking big in approaching I could write 10 articles on it and still not explain the importance of this one. It is KEY. Girls are drawn and repelled by body language. I know for a fact that much of my approach success is due to my body language. Why? Because multiple girls have told me, “There’s something about the WAY you CARRY yourself physically”. Yes dear, it’s called walking around like every girl in a 50 foot radius would be lucky to have my cock for 5 minutes. Try adopting this attitude gents and watch your success soar.

Quick Recap: Mental Health including being positive, self-confidence boosting INNER and OUTER dialogue + Physical Self-Awareness, knowing your personal best style and walking around like every girl would die to be with you = enhancing your approach success. These are tangible aspects of The Art of The Approach; however, this last component is NOT tangible, but is the ‘IT’ factor of approaching: Instincts.



Instincts may seem like something that you can’t develop, but you actually can. Let’s get real for a second: remember the last time you kissed a girl at the right moment? Remember how you just knew the timing was right, went for it and it was a success? That’s called instincts. The more you listen to those instincts and TRUST them, the more ‘natural’ you’ll seem. The fact is most ‘naturals’ are simply in touch with their instincts and utilize them when dealing with girls.

I used to question myself when dealing with girls years ago and we all know what happens when you start overthinking your interactions with them: you suck and it comes across canned and slightly moronic. As my confidence increased and I realized that for the most part trusting my instincts played to my favor, then my approach success and overall pull rate skyrocketed.

Unless you’re simply a fucktard with a 78 IQ, odds are you have instincts that will serve you when you trust and go with them. Test them and learn to utilize them.

In my next article I will be going more into the actual approach process from physically seeing a girl, to approaching her and talking to her.

Until then, check out my system:

Read More: Showing Value Before The Approach

About the Author

is a best-selling author, former club owner and club VIP Host. Learn more Blog - Books - Podcast Follow him on Twitter: Twitter


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