‘The Jealousy Game’ is a game that most women play at some point in a relationship, some more than others. The game works like this: she picks out another man, usually one she has at least a moderate degree of attraction towards, and she flirts with him, either by talking about him in an adoring fashion, or by displaying non-verbal cues of interest to that man while you are around (e.g. extended eye contact, warm smiling, touching her hair, neck or face, etc.). She chats him up in your presence, all the while expressing profuse admiration for his most mundane qualities.
If online, she exchanges a chain of messages, usually drenched with emoticons. She will turn up the volume on her notification alarms, filling the room with an annoying barrage of ‘dings’. She might even give out her contact information to that man, or tentatively arrange to meet up with him (again) sometime in the future.
In short, she gives feral attention to another man, and that attention is of higher quality or quantity than what she normally gives to you.
All this fawning attention and time spent on this other guy, is done with the express purpose of making you feel intense jealousy. The kicker is that it is only right that you should feel jealous, because she is giving the kind of attention to another man, that she should only be giving to you.
The Jealousy Game is purported (by women) to be a test of ‘how much you love her’. So in her mind, if she can make you jealous somehow, then your jealousy is evidence that you ‘love’ her.
But smart men should not be deceived into believing this hamsterbated justification. When women use the word ‘Love’, it is usually a deceptive misnomer. Women generally do not understand what altruistic love is.
Why Does She Play The Jealousy Game?
The Jealousy Game is actually a bomb loaded with several payoffs, all to her interest:
- It keeps the emotional interaction of the relationship at a visceral, feral level, which supercharges her appetite for drama.
- She hones her skill in exercising her feminine powers.
- She poses a test of your emotional obeisance (or lack thereof) to her feral power.
- She tests your frame, and gets to understand how you deal with her apparent ‘lack of self-control’ around potential rivals.
- She is ‘testing the limit’ to see what she can get away with.
- She compares you to the other guy, to see who stacks up better.
- She can put you on the defensive and watch you squirm, just for her own egotistical pleasure.
- She might harvest information from these encounters to use against you, or to stick you to the wall in a future argument.
- She explores and tests the interest in her from other guys, thus scoping out ‘greener fields’.
- She revises and refines her estimation of her own SMV.
- She indulges her fantasy of being one who is desired by men.
- She expands her social network.
No matter how the game plays out, she wins a prize. Even if nothing further develops between her and the other guy, the sheer pleasure of hijacking the attention of two men is a worthwhile consolation prize to her.
How A Man Should React
There are four possible reactions that a man might have when his girl plays the Jealousy Game, listed in ascending order of personal benefit and relationship management effectiveness:
- To get defensive, upset or angry
- To promptly try to make her jealous
- To tease her
- To ignore her
The first is to be avoided at all costs. The second option shows a modicum of awareness, as it compares to dread game, but if done as a reaction, it appears too obvious and comes off as childish in her eyes.
The fourth option is the best response, because you don’t want to give her any satisfaction, or any feedback that might be interpreted as a sign of weakness. Ignoring her moves in the Jealousy Game is a test of your constitution and emotional control, which can be very challenging.
But depending on the circumstances and the personalities involved, ignoring her behavior might appear like you are silently condoning the behavior, or that you are too weak to face up to it. You will know this is the case, if and when she slowly grows more aggressive and arrogant in her approaches to other men. In this case, teasing becomes the best option.
The most important thing to remember in teasing is to stay calm, be emotionally detached, and seemingly entertained by her antics. Whatever she is complaining about that drove her to make you jealous, just agree and amplify it to the point of mockery. Laughing at her is almost always a good move. But if you get upset and angry, then you’ll come off as butthurt, you’ll give her satisfaction, lose the game and push her away.
Specific Points And Plays
If she has made it known that she joined an online dating site, just stay calm, keep busy doing your own thing, and watch her using your peripheral vision.
If she is contacting an ex, you could tease her by asking her personal questions. Don’t be afraid to dig into her on that, and be sure to make her ex look pathetic. If you’re lucky, her guilt will kick in. Another trick is to ask her pointed questions to bring her back to reality. Adding specific details will confuse her and throw her off.
If she can actually talk about such things calmly and arrogantly, and add her own spin to it, then your relationship was over a millennium ago.
If she actually does jump into an affair, or leaves you, then you’re better off without her. Dump the thot and move on. That’s tough advice to take, but it’s better to face the reality of it head on, and stay on top of your life, because life is too short to play the jealousy game.
Read More: Jealousy Should Prompt Learning