Dating advice for men is no longer in its infancy. Since 2005, when The Game by Neil Strauss came out and a lot of guys got into pickup, it has become mainstream. These days, awareness that there are techniques through which guys can increase their success rate with women is widespread, if not universally accepted.

But—perhaps as a result of shark oil merchants overselling the dream—some men have got the idea that by simply learning a few lines from the internet, a cavalcade of supermodels will march into their bedrooms. This is not the case and never has been. Game will always be about incremental improvements, not miracles.

This is exacerbated by the fact that men come into game at very different levels. Some already have their shit together. They look good, they’re in shape and they can hold a conversation with an actual human being. Others are less fortunate. Many are afraid to hold eye contact with anyone, let alone a beautiful girl. For this latter group, it’s clear that a steeper learning curve will apply, And the truth is that these guys may never sleep with an 8, 9, much less a 10.

Rejection

The ability to handle rejection—lots of it—is a key indicator of how well any man is going to do in the field. If you’re a soy boy game denialist who half-heartedly tries a few sets and then goes back to his keyboard to rant about how only looks and money count, then clearly your results will not be stellar.

If you take a more pragmatic, masculine approach, and recognise that rejection is a key part of any growth process then you are more likely to stay the course. And in the end, there is no doubt that you will see better results than you did at first.

Going out, talking to actual, real-life girls, making a ton of mistakes, getting humiliated, and slowly getting better—this is the hard road that most students of game have to tread.

Yes, you can move to a country where your value might be deemed somewhat higher than at home. But you will still have to go through the process. And it is by approaching, taking feedback from a mentor, consuming game advice and tweaking your methods over time that you improve.

What Is The Point Of Game?

Another thing to consider is what ‘game’ actually is. At its core it’s about social skills. How do you open? Is it with confidence and strong eye contact? Is your presence commanding? What do you talk about? Are you quick-witted and confident, or do you just ask a bunch of interview questions?

These things are important. But they are only a part of the puzzle. For game is nothing if not an holistic process that, over time, requires an exhaustive upgrade of the player’s entire persona. He must work to improve his aesthetics, his wardrobe, his social standing and yes, his earning power. He must, in other words, get his shit together. But again, that happens bit by bit, over time. It is an incremental process rather than a transformation that happens at a weekend bootcamp in Vegas.

Which brings us to a key question: what, actually, is the point of game? If you are judging game by whether or not it makes it possible for ungainly and socially awkward men to score at a Taylor Swift aftershow party then of course it will fail. But if you are more rational, and judge it on whether it assists men in getting better girls than they might otherwise have got, and more choice in their dating lives, then it succeeds.

Miracles don’t happen outside of the Bible, and no one here is claiming that they do (and if you do see such claims from a dating advice company then you should immediately disregard them). The sexual marketplace exists, and it is often brutal. However, any company has the opportunity to perform better in its chosen marketplace, but only if it takes a strategic, long view, and puts its plans into carefully and consistently. So it is for the individual in the dating market.

Guys need to put aside Instagram-fuelled fantasies about picking up celebrities poolside in Miami and get real. Game has helped a huge number of ordinary men to make incremental improvements in themselves over time, and to take back control of their dating lives.  This is something to be celebrated. It is after all fortunate that you don’t have to be Chad Thundercock (an imaginary, homoerotic fantasy figure for game denialists to masturbate over) in order to enjoy a rewarding and varied sex life.

Want to find out how jerks and bad boys get the hottest girls? Click on the link now to read Troy’s latest book How To Be An Asshole 

Read More: The Rise Of Game Denialism Is Hurting A Lot Of Men