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December 20th, 2012

Why So Serious?

By

Here is a status I saw from a female on facebook recently:

“Never regret anything because at one time it was exactly what you wanted.”

In analyzing this chick logic, we get the following translation:

If, at any one point in time, a certain thing was desired by an individual, then that thing should not be considered “regrettable” in the future by that individual. Why? Because it was desired. That is all.

Short version: “If I wanted it, then it was good.”

What’s wrong with this statement? Well, that list could fill a blog post by itself. Most men could twist themselves into mental knots trying to comprehend the logical holes here (ex: What if that “want” harmed others? What about personal responsibility?). The sheer lack of logic is almost painful, really.

Instead of going down that route, however, I would like to posit that this kind of logic provides the perfect context in which to consider the proper male reaction to female emotion: no reaction.

The logic expressed above is not uncommon among women, especially in the west. You’ll will find it among women from a variety of ethnicities, regions and socio-economic backgrounds.

For women, emotions are the waves to be ridden, and they often determine what action is worthwhile and what isn’t. If she felt right about it at the time, then it was right, and she can rationalize it as such in the future regardless of what she did. If she didn’t feel right at the time, then it wasn’t right. Sounds simple…

…but then perhaps she’ll decide tomorrow that what was right before is wrong now, simply because she feels differently at this particular moment (hint: I know the girl who authored that status personally and she has not always expressed such a viewpoint-it could easily change again tomorrow).

Or she could decide that what was wrong then is right now, because her feelings have changed and what felt wrong then feels fine now. And maybe she’ll come back around the next day and switch things up again because a change “just feels right” for her at “this stage” in her life, and it is exactly what thinks she “needs”…

…but then next week she feels out of place, so her change was wrong and needs to be curtailed for something else that “feels right”…and so on, so forth.

I haven’t even mentioned all the crazies that an American male will undoubtedly run into as time passes. Their processes will make even less sense than those I mentioned above, and will generally be even less predictable.

This is an important key to male sexual frustration: too much logic with women and too much inclination to take their emotions seriously, as though they were always based on much more than a passing whim or feeling.

Too many men come into contact with women and seek to try to make sense of these inevitable emotional waves (using their own highly incompatible masculine methods of reasoning) or, even worse, engage these emotions directly. They try to fit a square peg (emotionally driven female reasoning) into a round opening (linear, logical masculine thought processes).

It is a lose-lose for them.

Once a man understands this and simply lets it all go, he puts himself in a position to enter a much better place, both romantically and spiritually. He quits fighting her emotional waves and holding them accountable to his own preconceived standards (which, as the text above outlines, should only be applied to men anyway).

Instead, he learns to ride them out and/or just let them flow. He is able to maintain his own stability in the face of her occasional volatility. This, in turn, puts him into a good position to learn and practice game properly.

Her emotions are the unpredictable, often chaotic storm bearing down on the land. He is the solid oak that stands firmly in place before and after its passing.

Note how the oak does not attempt to reason with the storm (or the weather that created it), confront the storm or change the storm as it passes. The oak doesn’t bitch about the weather as though it could be altered either. Instead, the oak merely persists, solidly and reliably. The weather changes and the storms come and then go, but the oak remains as it was, rain or shine.

Deep down, every woman seeks to find her own “oak”, the object that her own often unstable emotional “weather patterns” (including those often volatile storms and the waves they create) cannot move at will or destroy and are instead forced to respect as they pass by. It is the job of any male concerned with self-improvement to become that object.


About the Author

is a young man whose background gives him unique insight on sociological and cultural changes that are happening today. His column runs every Monday.

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