Yesterday, I went to a well-known strip club to support a friend who just started dancing there. I left with three strippers’ contact info: a 7 and two 8s, all of whom have now written me first.

Virtually every man who’s been to these clubs wants to score and has stripper fantasies. I had a 9 as my live-in girlfriend for three years who stripped at one of America’s most famous clubs and actually got around the “no boyfriend rule” turning it into a regular hangout. At my peak, I had 150 strippers’ phone numbers, so I’m going to share some insider secrets, and save you time, drama, and lots of money.

Of all the places you will ever run game, strip clubs are the most difficult. The bitch shields are extremely high, as they’ve experienced every pickup line, technique, and creep that exists. Know that you are dating on the razor’s edge and you will get cut. You will be blown out by wealthy competition, waste money, get your heart broken if you fall in love, and face low conversion rates. Be extremely suspicious of any pickup guru who claims to have a foolproof stripper method, as in my experience, there is no such thing.

There are noteworthy advantages, however. As the customer, the women will generally approach you. 99 percent of the men have zero game, so it is very easy to stand out. It is also less noisy and there is less drug use and fewer distractions than at regular clubs.  At the upscale establishments—and especially with strippers who are college students—there is a window of opportunity for a smart, charming, high value male to affordably display his finer qualities.

Flip The Script With Oasis Game

None of your presentation can be scripted or phony or they will see right through you. Hence, authenticity and confidence are your secret weapons. Because I lived with and have dated many strippers, I genuinely understand the challenges of their job and the crap she has to hear all night from degenerate, perverted men. Your table should be the desert oasis where she wants to sit down when she just can’t take it anymore.

You and your crew are fun, safe, and understand the industry. In a word, you are like her, not a customer.  You are calm, cool, and empathetic, the alpha lion who can laugh with her, never judging her while she shares her bizarro work stories. She will begin to bond with you, that rare and coveted man she feels might actually be able to deal with her occupation.

Get Vouched For

Your biggest obstacle is making her feel safe. She must believe that if the relationship doesn’t work out that you will not cause her problems at work. In her mind, this is much less likely to happen if you share the same social circle, and getting a stripper to date you in this scenario is like surfing the North Shore of Hawaii. One does not simply show up with a surfboard. Someone in the “locals and pros only” surfer scene must vouch for you or you’re not getting in.

Thus, the easiest and cheapest way to score a stripper is to already know her as an acquaintance from the regular club scene and have mutual friends, then you see her at the strip club and sell her on giving it a try. Another way is to befriend the club staff, preferably in real life or on social media. You want to appear to already know bouncers, managers, DJs, or bartenders. A third is to have a friend who is already stripping there who introduces you to the other girls, such as what I first described above.

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Avoiding The Lasso

Strangely, strippers are much more likely to date you if they first meet you on a dating site, as they don’t see you as a potentially creepy patron, even with no mutual friends and if your first meeting is at the club.  Often the club makes girls post dating profiles to lasso more customers, so be aware of this tactic and avoid meeting there if possible.

Free Isn’t Free

Even a frugal trip to a strip club will be $50 to $100 for parking, cover charges, and drinks. Remember, this is their livelihood, so show respect, buy some drinks for the girls who sit with you, and occasionally tip her “for her time.” Outside of high roller markets (Miami, Vegas, N.Y., L.A., S.F.), a $20 bill per non-peak hour is a good rule of thumb, assuming you are first rate company.

If you’re inexperienced, try to bring a wing crew of four to six people, as it spreads out the cost and conveys social proof. You should have a striking look and be devastatingly charming and/or well dressed and groomed.

Tactics

There is no one correct method for success, but you can definitely improve your odds. It will depend on your looks, age, game, apparent wealth, attitude, shared social circle, and many other factors. In general, go during the day or on Monday/Tuesday nights, as competition is low. Get a table so she can sit with you for more privacy and tactile bonding. Avoid the bar and never, ever sit on “Gynecologist Row” at the catwalk looking up at her crotch.

Tip when she is onstage only to briefly introduce yourself and invite her to your table.  Use $5 or even $2 bills to stand out.  Do not linger and never “make it rain.” At your table, turn down lap dances saying “thanks, but it’s just not my thing,” in lieu of drinks and tips for her time as she is less likely to view you as a customer. You should occasionally buy dances, but only let her dance for your friends, which will make her work more to earn your direct attention.

I have never done VIP on my own dime, only when others paid on a corporate expense account.  A VIP can easily backfire so when establishing status, only do thirty minutes and close with social media (less invasive and higher conversion than burner phones). Get a date outside of the club within one to two weeks. If she refuses, move to other girls on your next visit, never appear butt hurt and remain friendly.  Never do VIP with the same girl twice.

Dividends

Dating a stripper is something every man should do once. There’s something truly hot about it that’s rarely attainable elsewhere, which makes all the hassles worthwhile. In top clubs, even celebs don’t score 10s without laying down serious cash, so opt for 7s, 8s and 9s instead. Keep it light, keep it casual. Try to date part-timers who have stripped for less than six months, and date them no longer than nine-and-a-half weeks. Enjoy it while it lasts… because it never does.

Read More: Can Strippers, Pornstars and Live Sex Models Be Good Girlfriends?