Jealousy Should Prompt Learning

One of the first concepts I was introduced to as part of my “red pill” reawakening, and certainly one of the core aspects of any man’s self-improvement journey, is moving from a scarcity to an abundance mindset.

In brief: when humans believe there is not enough of something, they start to hoard it, value it, agonize over it, compete for it and be dismayed at their lack of it.  When it seems there is more than enough of something, humans trivialize it, share it, avail themselves of it and are generally unconcerned about it.

Two important notes:

1. It is not the actual availability of something that influences our behaviour, but the perceived availability.

2. A small shift in perception can trigger a shift in attitude, which then alters returns and finally perception, creating a snowball effect.  This too is independent of the actual availability of the thing in question.

We’ll come back to these.

I want stuff

This is an extremely powerful principle – the obvious application in this context is women, but it has equally potent ramifications with regards to money, power, time and motivation (among others).

Look around you – winners are in abundance and losers are in scarcity.  Everyone wants to be the guy with more women, money, time, motivation and/or social status than he knows what to do with, and is secretly glad not to be the guy with none.  It’s a Catch-22, the guy with an abundance mindset always seems to end up with more than he needs while the guy with a scarcity mindset never has enough.  You can debate all day whether it was the chicken or the egg that came first but it’s ultimately semantics, the results speak for themselves.

If you really need “proof” or examples, track down interviews with any rich person and find out if they pinched pennies to get there, ask any smooth guy if he’s worried about losing his girlfriend or observe the most popular guy at a party constantly giving out compliments and building other people up.

S/He has what I want

Right, let’s associate this with jealousy.  What is jealousy?  Being annoyed that someone else has something that you don’t.  The same suspects show up here as mentioned above – women, money, social status, time, motivation etc.

Here’s the epiphany:

It is only possible to be jealous when in a scarcity mindset.

Once more for clarity:

It is only possible to be jealous when in a scarcity mindset.

If we refer back to my two important notes though, we realize that there is an incredibly high chance that this is not due to an actual scarcity but rather a perceived one.  You’re mad because you think someone else is cutting away a slice of your pie, when actually you should be asking their advice on knife sharpening so you can both eat your fill from the communal pie.

Actions points

Next time you find yourself jealous of anyone for your lack of anything:

DON’T:  Be like the friend with no game.  Don’t rationalize a reason they have what they have and you don’t (“he’s lucky he’s so tall, that girl would be with me if I was 6’3”), silently insult them in your own mind (“faggot”) or pretend you don’t care (“whatever, I don’t even want a girlfriend anyway”)

DO:  Gain some respect for that person (they have the ability to get what you want, so the two of you aren’t so different), politely ask for their advice and listen carefully to what they say, apply their advice to see if it works for you and finally be grateful for learning something new.

Everyone knows something you don’t, you’re only shooting yourself in the foot if you get upset about it.

Read more:  The Art Of Learning