Masculinity thirst

July 24th, 2013

Helping Friends Who Have No Game Is A Bad Idea

By

One of the natural effects of having or developing advanced game is an impulse to help your close friends who aren’t quite as fortunate as you. Seeing a friend paralyzed by simple interactions with the opposite sex, languishing in a relationship with a sub-standard girl, or being held back by the series of relationship myths that are force-fed to men—which are grounded in zero real-world realities—is enough to tempt even the coldest-hearted player into generously breaking off some crumbs from his hard-earned wisdom loaf.

Even if you’re not overpowered by your generosity—or game reflexes—you’re bound to get half-hearted solicitations for your “secrets” sooner or later. Like a guy with a cooler of sweaty bottles of Gatorade in the desert, you and your riches will elicit the envy of the thirsty.

But talk to any experienced player and he will tell you the same thing: throwing a blue-pill, no-game, sexless friend a game lifeline comes with major risks.

He Simply Won’t Get It

Unless he’s a young guy who simply hasn’t had exposure yet (an increasingly unlikely scenario given the penetration of game-related material on the Internet), odds are your friend has had ample opportunities to observe and pick up elementary “game” in the real world. Yet, he’s repeatedly passed up the opportunity. Instead, he probably buys into the mainstream, romantic-comedy version of dating, where things “just happen” and the “right girl” will fall out of the sky onto his dick if he waits long enough. Or, worse, he will have been infected by full-fledged feminist brainwashing: that deliberate efforts to meet and connect with women are “predatory” or “creepy”; that pursuing attractive girls is “shallow”; or that “game” is a series of mind-bending tricks to manipulate or confuse “insecure girls” into sleeping with you. Talking a guy out of this mindset is—if not outright impossible or dangerous—a time commitment ten times bigger than you imagine.

He Will Make Endless Excuses

Since it’s unlikely that your friend has zero idea about what to do, chances are that he’s actually a pussy, lazy, or simply not ready to undertake the long, arduous journey of learning game. Like learning a musical instrument or language, getting good with women requires years of work to learn, and an on-going commitment to maintain. His problem, in other words, goes well beyond simply not knowing game. He lacks the prerequisite personality traits necessary and mindset to improve. Whether it’s insecurity about his height or race, faultfinding all the prospects around him, or the classic I’m-not-looking-to-bang-tons-of-girls-I’m-just-looking-for a-girlfriend logic, a man who’s not ready will engage in the most impressive verbal and mental acrobatics to stay precisely where he is.

He Won’t Value Your Advice

Before I knew any better, I spend countless hours trying to help a miserably sexless friend who was habitually friendzoned by the surprisingly many cute girls in his social circles. He sat by as guy after guy plucked girls from his stable of crushes, pounded them out for a while, and returned them to the bin, like unrewinded video tapes to a Blockbuster. I eventually banged one of those girls myself, and he actually “confronted” me on the phone about it:

No-Game Friend: …I think you should set me up with one of your female friends.

Me: I don’t have any female friends. And, why?

No-Game Friend: Because you got Amanda because of me. You could set me up with your friend Sara.

Me: I met Amanda on my own, you didn’t even introduce us. And, Sara has a boyfriend. Not to mention that I’m currently trying to bang her. [I eventually did]

No-Game Friend: Bottom line is you met Amanda at my party. You got something because of me and I never get anything from you!

Me: Are you kidding me? Amanda wasn’t even there for your party, it’s just coincidence that you happen to know her. Plus, I’ve been helping you for months, coaching you when we go out, and given you volumes of rock-solid advice I never share with anyone.

No-Game Friend: Advice is worthless. I want girls, not advice.

This story is extreme, but it’s hardly unique. Thirsty beta and blue-pill guys want magic bullets, not prescriptive programs that require social risk and work. They don’t see value in field-tested, results-proven information—especially when it comes free of charge. Guys pay a month’s salary on much less than I’d given him.

He Will Repeatedly Cockblock or Crab You

“Helping your friend” often involves bringing him out with you. That means enduring cockblock after cockblock during their learning phase, not to mention the consequences of the stink of lameness that wafts off of him and hangs over your whole party. Even when this isn’t the case, your friend will not remember or respect the wingman’s code when—crazed by his thirst—he sees the oasis on the horizon.

I once introduced another game-less friend to two Eastern European girls I was working at a club. In the clumsiest and most obvious way, he kept climbing over me to talk to the girl I’d clearly selected (the cuter and slightly thinner of the two), repeatedly interrupting me and ignoring the other girl. When he finally managed to scare them both off, I pulled him aside:

Me: What are you doing, man? You know better than to go after my girl.

No-Game Friend 2: I don’t want the fat one. I want the hot one.

Me: Yeah, it doesn’t matter what you “want.” You didn’t do the work. You know the guy who opens gets to pick. Plus, she’s not even fat!

No-Game Friend 2: Well, if she’s not fat why don’t you take her then?

Me: Because that’s not how it works.

No-Game Friend 2: Well, when they come back why don’t we just see who they pick? [defiantly]

Me: They’re not coming back, you idiot.

You’ll Destroy the Friendship

You broke it, you bought it. When you undisturb your friend’s placid existence—however deluded or sexless it may be—he becomes your responsibility. I’ve heard stories of guys being blamed for future failures (“I said what you told me and I scared the girl away. This was my chance and you fucked me over!”), of thin-skinned newbies not being able to handle the sometimes-brutal feedback, and of former friends becoming active haters (“He only does well with chicks by manipulating them”).

If you’re like me, you actually don’t outright befriend guys who don’t display some degree of game already. I’ve gradually come to the point that I can’t fully respect a man who doesn’t have at least some marginal skills around women, since it speaks to other areas of his personal development, social intelligence, and masculinity.

But when can you help a friend with no game? When he begs you to teach him, and keeps returning after repeated rejections and denials that you even “have game.”

Then you’ll know he truly wants to–and can–learn.

Read More: The Price Of Taking The Red Pill


About the Author

is a Columnist-at-Large at Return of Kings. His work has been covered by major media outlets such as The Huffington Post, Cosmopolitan, Vice Magazine, The Daily Mail, and Yahoo Shine. He's also been profiled by BuzzFeed and The New Statesman. You can follow him on Twitter.

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