A Lesson In Storytelling

This post reminded me of a girl I went out with a few years ago. In response to an online opener I sent her, she wrote me a truly remarkable story that I’ve yet to see be duplicated by any girl.  The way she wrote it was, simply put, the perfect way you should tell a story to any prospective girl you want to get.  She made me want to go out with her regardless of her looks (to a point of course, and nonetheless she was still cute).

I opened her with something about where she would take me on a trip and what we would do. While my opener was — if I may say so myself — quite creative and witty, her response completely knocked it out of the park.  It was very impressive on two fronts. First, the effort she put in was remarkable given it was an online interaction. Second, look at the details and the way she puts you in the environment and gives you an actual feel of what is going on. This is what you should incorporate in your dates as that ROK article I link above states.  Most girls eat it up when you can relate a story that well.

Below is the girl’s response to my opener. To put it in context, I mentioned she looked like she was drinking and I was stuck at work so she would have to plan the trip, and my profile says I travel a lot:

First off, I’m not buzzed, because I know the trick of drinking a Gatorade to subside the alcohol.

Next, my bags are already packed, and so were yours. I was going to kidnap you and take you out of town before your work got canceled because I have amazing vision (my father is an ophthalmologist) and I can drive us anywhere. And fast, nonetheless, because I’ve seen the autobahn and the actual BMW and Mercedes plants in Germany where the cars are manufactured, so I have experience racing. I also planned to drive so you could do the work in the car if you did have to work, and if you get carsick, I brought medicine to fix that. (However, I respect you working long hours because my career will make me do the same. So if you completely object, I would just bring you dinner for the long nights of which you’d be working).

But since I found out that you ruined the spontaneous plans, instead of getting mad, I’m thrilled. This means I can cancel our four-day trip to Vegas, and do something different. I picked Vegas initially because I knew it may be tough to pull you away from work, and only Vegas, bikinis, hot dresses and gambling would be the bait to lure you away from your office.

So, instead, I let you have some Vegas adventure, and we drive to Vegas just Thursday night. We gamble, I wear my hot dress that makes you happy I’m your girlfriend and not someone else’s, I cross my fingers so you win big, then we go back to the hotel and have…. well that will have to wait for the actual thing because words wont be able to describe… and I’m classy in emails.

Then in the morning, we’re off, because now I get to pick somewhere where we both will have an amazing time…the Southwest special flight to Colorado. Here your great vision can indulge the picturesque Rocky Mountains, because you probably haven’t been because you’re from the Big Apple, and the only tall picturesque monuments are the spectacular Skyscrapers.

Of course I will let you sit next to the window because you’ve never had the experience of flying over the 14 footers and I want you to see them. Once we arrive, I will have already arranged for a limo to pick us up and drive us to Vail, which is only two hours away, thus allowing us a long stay in Colorado.

Since you’re so adventurous, we will walk around Vail Village and see the authentic stores, but not go inside because we hate shopping. We will probably meet foreigners because so many come to work there, so it’ll be like you’re in one of the countries of which you’ve visited.

Then we will take the chair lift up the top of the mountain (this time of year the snow is melted and we can see the Spring blooming flowers and have a better view of the mountains). As we’re going up, I’m holding your hand because I’m scared and you’re telling me we’re going to be ok (or visa versa, but because I like you, I let you think I’m the one that’s afraid… and we never tell your friends you were).

Once we are at the top, we have a fabulous lunch, wine and we take pictures of us at the Many Mile High mark. We may have some fun of our own before we go down, though.

Once we come down, we find a fun bike path to bike around. We don’t do too many hills because we’re stuffed from lunch. But we both could because my pictures are accurate and I’m in good shape. Or if you don’t like biking, we take a hike around. We could even do the Alpine Slide if you want. After, we go back and get ready for dinner. You’ve picked out my outfit before we left so its whatever you’ve chosen. After dinner, we go back to the Jacuzzi at our hotel. The rest of the night is like the previous, amazing but the description must wait until the actual night.

The next day we decide to take that limo to Golden, where we get a tour of the Coors Brewery. This was accomplished only because I had connections, because they no longer do any tours. After visiting Golden, and sampling the top brews, we go to Denver, where we get to watch the Lakers defeat the Nuggets. We stay at the Four Seasons because I have connections again, so we save money because we both work hard.

Then we wake up early Sunday morning, have brunch, and if you’re allergic to anything, I make sure brunch doesn’t have it in the ingredients. Then we pack our bags and head back to ***. We have dinner at *** before going back to the apartment. You wake up for work on Monday with a smile and having experienced commercialized fun and natural fun. When you get to work, you open your briefcase and there’s something I’ve left inside to get you excited to come home early……the newest season of Law and Order. Then you lift it up with pure joy and find something else, that may create a distraction from Law and Order. A travel guide for our next trip. Then you lift that up and there’s something soft and somewhat…. inappropriate for work. So you come home early to get it out of your office and I show you how it’s used. Then you tell me I’m the best girlfriend ever. The end.

Notice how she plays to a man’s ideal woman (sex, bringing dinner, staying fit). If a female’s ability to captivate a man’s logic-based imagination works, as it did here on me, think of the flip side. Girls are seated in emotion; if you can take them on a journey with your words by telling them a powerful story, you are way ahead of the curve.

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