When most men think of an “alpha male,” they think of some tall, young, and cool man who’s got impeccable style and class. They think of this:

english gentleman

But the above is merely just one expression of how an alpha male acts. Most guys see an example of an alpha male and try to emulate it. They see the tough jacked dude or suave looking guy in a suit and decide they can fit that mold too. But they are getting confused. They see the passive game, such as looks or money, and think that’s all there is to it, when in fact it’s the active game which is responsible for getting the pull. Most men fail to understand the relativity of game — just because one type of game works for one man, does not mean it will work for another. Tight game is relative to each man. So while being a gentleman may work for some guys, like the Englishman in the above photo, it does not mean it will work for you.

Indeed, what I have noticed about the vast majority of alpha males is that none of them have anything in common, other than a base set of traits that have been repeated over and over again in game blogs such as dominance, confidence, extroversion, charisma, etc. But having these attractive qualities can manifest themselves in unlimited ways, so describing these qualities in abstract is usually pretty worthless. Let’s have another example of an alpha:

This guy is a construction worker who married John Boehner’s daughter. Most people were shocked in disbelief, but to the eyes of Boehner’s daughter he was attractive. And since the only thing that matters for making a relationship work is the woman’s interest level, it doesn’t matter if the guy lives like a bum. All that matters is his ability to make her feel good when he’s around her with his own brand of game. While very few men could probably pull off this kind of Rastafarian game, you don’t need to. All you need to do is figure out your own optimal version of game, which I guarantee you will be unlike the vast majority of other men’s game.


So if you’re trying to become more successful with women, don’t be afraid to experiment. Extreme individualism will only help you appeal to specific niche of women. I found my niche this way – and you can too, providing you are fearless and eager to try out lots of new behaviors with as many women as possible until you find something that sticks. I’ll never forget one of my successful womanizer friends who got most of his lays from the subway. I would watch him score numbers with girls right on the train within a few stops. I would try his exact style of game and get a horrible rejection, over and over again. His type of game didn’t work for me, but it worked for him. Likewise he hated to dance, but dancing worked for me.

Remember, if you can’t get laid, then it’s almost certainly because you aren’t specializing yourself  or you’re simply in an environment that works against you. Consider being a young man in South East Asia – girls will value you because of your youth and good looks. But in Colombia, being young is considered a disadvantage, while older men in their 50’s get 20-year old girlfriends. The culture you’re in has an enormous influence, so sometimes it is necessary to travel in order to determine if it is you who needs to change or your home address that needs to change. Consider this Ukrainian example:

poolside ukraine

Be open when evaluating other man’s game, and not like the game denialists, since it is not immediately obvious to see how a guy can be wildly successful with women when most men are not. If you pay attention, and stay humble (never think you’re better than the guy who’s getting hotter women than you) then it is possible to learn from other alpha males in order to build onto your own style. Not everyone can be alpha, but alpha could be anyone. An alpha male is best defined as that which is attractive to women, and what a woman could be attracted to is only limited by your imagination. Take this knowledge and create yourself into the alpha you want to be.

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