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Home This Month Popular Happy Birthday, America

Happy Birthday, America

july4
L.D. Hume

L.D. Hume, formerly known as Law Dogger, is an attorney and the litigation partner of his law firm. A traditionalist at heart, he travels often in an attempt to expose himself to as many cultures across the globe as possible. His column runs every so often and he can be found on Twitter as well.

July 10, 2013 54 Comments Culture
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I looked at my watch and it was midnight.  July 4th had officially come.  I had just arrived at a bowling alley with two girls, one of which I had seen previously and her best friend.  Let’s call her Kat.  It was Kat’s 22nd birthday and she invited me to join her and her friend (21) to celebrate.  Normally I wouldn’t do so because friends of girls you want to date usually become cockblocks, but on this July 4th… I didn’t mind.

Kat and I had met the previous Friday at a high end bar in town.  I caught her looking at me while she was seated, so I waved.  She waved back and a few minutes later I went over and introduced myself.  We started talking and hit it off pretty quickly.  Two hours later of chatting and playful bantering, I invited her to join me for a drink at my home.  She refused and asked if we can exchange numbers and Facebook information instead.  The next day, I became her 14th friend on Facebook.  We texted back and forth and saw each other a few times before going bowling for her birthday.  Normally, numbers mean shit to me and I’d laugh at a Facebook request, but on this Friday prior to July 4th… I didn’t mind.

She was a terrible bowler but her friend was great.  They ordered food and a bottle of vodka and all of us proceed to get drunk and happy.  We returned to my apartment where my friend had just come back himself from a date with another girl, a girl he had had sex with after the fifth date.  Kat came into my room and stayed the night, and while we messed around she said it was still too early to have sex.  This was our third date.  Normally both my buddy and I would cut girls off after the third date without sex, but on this July 4th… we didn’t mind.

The morning came and Kat and her friend got up and asked us if we were hungry.  We said yes, so they proceeded to raid our fridge, take out what they saw was appropriate and cook us a fantastic breakfast.  We ate, the girls did not.  After we finished eating, they washed all the dishes.  We all laid around on the couch for a bit, then had some pizzas delivered for lunch and drank some beers.  After all, it was July 4th so we tried to be as patriotic as possible — which meant pizza and beers.  My friend and I had three slices each, the girls had one slice each.  And again, they did all the dishes after we ate.  Later we went for a walk in the nearby park. Me and my buddy were in shorts and a t-shirt while the girls were in heels and dresses.  Normally we’d dread having some girls attach themselves to us during the day, but this July 4th… we didn’t mind.

We bid them adieu shortly after since we were going out to dinner with our regular girls.  We went home, showered, cleaned up the apartment and met them for dinner.  Mine was 19 years old and showed up in a white dress with white heels.  His was 22 and showed up in a black dress with red heels.  We ordered food, they did not.  As mine stated, it was past 6pm and she does not like to eat after that time.  After we finished eating, we paid our tab and headed back to spend the night in the apartment.  As we were walking out, a young gentlemen at the table next to us waved us down.  “Nice to hear a familiar voice, happy 4th of July to you guys”  he said.  We retorted the same to him. With a big smile on his face he knew that on America’s birthday the next thing he was about to say was already understood by us—“Enjoy this country.”

I replied with an equally telling smile and exclamation of patriotism:  “I know… Ukraine is a great place.”

Read Next: American Women Simply Can’t Compete

Jul 10, 2013L.D. Hume

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L.D. Hume

L.D. Hume, formerly known as Law Dogger, is an attorney and the litigation partner of his law firm. A traditionalist at heart, he travels often in an attempt to expose himself to as many cultures across the globe as possible. His column runs every so often and he can be found on Twitter as well.

July 10, 2013 Culture
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