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July 8th, 2013

What Do You Bring To The Table?

By

We here in the manosphere are very quick to call girls out for maintaining outsized standards. From fat girls demanding fit men with six packs to 5’2” females turning down every male south of 6’0”, we have little patience for females shooting beyond their level. We don’t do this to be “misogynistic”—we do it because we believe each partner has an obligation to work to maintain attraction in the other if they want a relationship to continue (or to even begin).

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In understanding this, however, we come to understand the crux of why sites like this exist and why male self-improvement is important. At their core, sites like ROK are designed to allow men to be better equipped to do work of their own. RooshV Forum and ROK are places where we can all share means and methods on how to do that work best, with advice tailored to age group, place of residence, environment, etc. This is done because it is essential for any male concerned with his romantic life to look critically at himself and mercilessly attack the flaws that he finds. It is only through this that process that men can be kept away from the entitlement we so often criticize in some of our female peers.

Men can begin this process by asking themselves a simple question: what do you bring to the table?

This question is in reference to the work you’ve done yourself. How well groomed are you? How engaging are you in conversation? Are you funny, witty, and confident enough when engaging the women you want? Do you dress well enough to catch their eye? Are you physically fit enough to catch their eye?

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The entitlement I’ve spent much time criticizing here and elsewhere in the manosphere is not entirely limited to women. I understand this because I once exhibited it myself. Young men, unaware of the realities of female attraction and unaware of how sexual repulsive many of their youthful, “beta” habits are, often express utter confusion at their lack of success with the opposite sex. Too often this confusion grows into anger and bitterness, vitriol expressed absent the necessary internal examinations necessary to build real self-improvement and success. It took me years to overcome this entitlement and begin acknowledging my faults as opposed to merely getting angry at women for not accepting them. Only then could I begin to improve and find some relief for my youthful sexual frustration.

This is a common narrative. Many young men demand dimes and find themselves in this corner of the internet lamenting their inability to attract them. The reality, however, is that these women are not obligated to be attracted to them. If you as a male are unable give an objectively favorable answer to all (or at least most) of those questions above regarding wit, confidence, conversational ability, and so on, then fine females won’t be coming around your way too often, if at all.

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Pretty girls have options, and this is truer here in the USA than almost anywhere else. As is the case in all humans, incentives drive their behavior. If you’re not appealing enough to give them incentive to choose you to the exclusion of their many other options while subsequently keeping said girls as your only option, then you’ve got a problem.

Too many young men are unsure if girls think they are good enough or not. This crisis of confidence and insecurity often leads to bitterness or poorly executed negs thrown at female suitors, efforts that all too often leave entirely the wrong impression.

The mission for a young male concerned with improvement is really quite simple. Look at yourself. Find your strengths and find your faults. Adjust accordingly by playing to your strengths and shoring up your weaknesses via discourse on ROK, RVF, and similar spaces in the manosphere. Never cease to take stock of what you bring to the table, and always seek to bring more if you can. Those who are willing to endure this challenging process will see much greater romantic rewards in the future.

Read Next: Why This Site Will Always Be “Creepy”


About the Author

is a young man whose background gives him unique insight on sociological and cultural changes that are happening today.

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