If you game internationally, meeting girls in different cities or even countries, it is inevitable that you will like some more than others. This is fine and only to be expected. The decision you have to make then is what to do about it. While travelling long distances for girls with whom you have ‘fallen in love’ is a rookie mistake, there is huge pleasure to be derived from having a ‘girl in every port’—an international selection of girls in other locations whom you can spend time with at the drop of a hat.
If you meet a girl in Venice, which is let’s say a two-hour flight away from your base, do you jump back on a plane to see her again the following week, or do you simply write her off as another ‘notch’ and go move on to the next one? This is very much down to the basis of your relationship with her. If you’re coming at it from a boyfriend or provider position, the enterprise is doomed to failure. If, however, you have made it clear from the outset that you are her lover and nothing more, travelling to hang out with her could be a lot of fun.
No Sex In The City
Years ago, before I got properly into game, I met a girl in the Lower East Side of New York City called Amanda. I was in a dive bar on Avenue A with a couple of friends. I got chatting to her, she digged my English accent and a few minutes later we were making out. A few days later we went on a date which ended up with us both naked back at her apartment.
All great so far. Amanda enjoyed fucking a random English guy she’d likely never see again, and I enjoyed fucking this San Diegan former homecoming queen in her Stuytown kitchen.
The trouble started when I decided to come back to visit her three months later. At the time I was living in Manchester, England and I was on a pretty low income. Nevertheless, with the help of the magic money tree which is credit cards, I was able to book a transatlantic flight. I would stay at Amanda’s apartment, thus mitigating the need to pay for expensive accommodation.
Over the phone Amanda seemed excited I was coming back over. However, when I arrived in Manhattan something had changed unaccountably. Conversation with Amanda was stilted and a little difficult. I felt awkward being in her apartment.
For the first few days she wouldn’t have sex with me, pointing out that she wasn’t the kind of girl who would ‘just hook up with people,’ even though that was precisely what she had done on my last trip. Then things came to a head. She sat me down for a ‘talk’. We could still hang out but I had to leave her apartment, she said. She’d called The Carlton Arms Hotel, a down-at-heel fleapit I’d stayed at last time, and told them I’d be staying (and paying) for the remainder of the week.
I shifted my stuff over to the hotel, but over the next few days I managed to talk her round. Of course, using logic rather than emotion to shift a girl’s state is a n0-no as far as most game practitioners are concerned, but in this instance it worked. I argued that, for the duration of my stay, Amanda had all the benefits of a boyfriend without any commitment or emotional complications. She bought it. That night we fucked five times in my seedy Carlton Arms room to an ‘oldies’ radio station playing The Eagles and Genesis.
All good. I returned to England happy with my ‘oneitis’ for Amanda fully charged. I decided to visit her again, this time for New Year’s Eve, a couple of months later. By now I had pretty much convinced myself that I was in a long-distance relationship with Amanda, even though such an arrangement had never been discussed between us—and it would have been a terrible idea anyway.
I lucked out and got upgraded to first-class on my British Airways flight just after Christmas 2002, so I slept all the way to NYC and woke up wonderfully refreshed. From my cab into town the city looked magical—icy and with beautiful festive decorations lighting up the urban winter gloom along with the neons.
When I reached Amanda’s apartment, though, I immediately knew something was wrong. Once more, she was distant, even cold with me. Once more, sex didn’t materialise though we shared a bed. No need to worry, I thought. I convinced her last time and that will happen again on this trip. She’s a ‘good girl’ after all—the type who needs to be ‘warmed up’ a little before agreeing to sex.
I was wrong. We spent New Year’s Eve itself in her apartment playing poker with a few of her friends. That was convivial enough, but the next morning—New Year’s Day 2003—I awoke to hear Amanda on the phone to someone in the bathroom. The conversation went on a while. Then she came into the bedroom and faced me.
“Something terrible’s happened to my friend Susan.”
“Oh no,” I said. “What’s that?”
‘Her aunt’s died,” said Amanda.
“I’m sorry.” I said. “That’s terrible.”
“It’s worse than that,” she replied, and then paused for dramatic effect before adding “It was suicide.”
“I’m going to have to spend a lot of time with her to help her get over this. So I’m sorry but I’m going to have to ask you to leave the apartment.”
“But I can just wait for you here while you’re gone.”
“No—I’ll be staying over with her tonight and it’s not fair on my roommate for me to leave a guest her when I’m not around.”
Try as I might to convince her to let me stay she was adamant. This time she hadn’t even bothered to call the Carlton Arms. In short order my suitcase was packed, and I was out in the freezing, rainy Manhattan streets, entirely alone. I had just stopped drinking at that time and it took some divine intervention to prevent me from walking into one of the welcoming-looking Irish pubs to drown my sorrows. Happy New Year.
Of course Amanda was lying about Susan’s aunt. The fact was she wanted me out because my neediness and oneitis repulsed her. Plus I’m pretty sure she had just started banging some other guy anyway. I was dimly aware of this even at the time, but still I was profoundly disappointed that Amanda, who I’d considered a ‘nice girl’, could treat me so callously. It was a number of events like this that led to me to take the red pill and understand female sexuality—and male-female relationships—from a more realistic perspective.
Nevertheless, I don’t blame Amanda for doing what she did. I was a naive fool who needed to learn a lesson. Things are different now. Yesterday I got back from a trip to Budapest where I spent time with Liliana, my Hungarian ‘friend with benefits’. We had a great week exploring her city and having lots of sex.
The difference this time is that the frame is entirely different. For a start there is zero neediness or oneitus on my side. There is no pressure, or implied requests for monogamy. Instead it’s 100% about fun with no expectations at all. I have other fuck buddies in the UK and other countries, and I game regularly to acquire new ‘leads’. Of course, I haven’t said this directly to Liliana but then I don’t need to—she can sense it in every aspect of my demeanor and presentation, and there is an unspoken understanding of our status.
I hope that these two very different examples demonstrate my point about travelling to meet women. If you do so on the implicit basis that this is just for enjoyment then it can be great. I had a wonderful time in Budapest both from a sexual point of view, but also just by hanging out in the city with a cool girl. But if you are coming from a frame of weakness or neediness then you must think very carefully indeed before booking that air ticket.
For a compilation of all Troy’s best game writing, advice and techniques from the last four years buy his new book How To Get Hot Girls Into Bed.
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