Men used to have to rely on social connections family ties, or just dumb luck to meet a girl. In some ways, this new way of dating makes it more difficult. More guys have more options. Despite this however, I’m seeing a disturbing trend—guys are unwilling to make the first move. When all it would really take to significantly improve their results with girls would be to try a little bit harder.
Time and time again, when talking to guys, receiving emails, or coaching, I see a disturbing pattern emerging: they are simply not making a move at appropriate times. Even worse, they’re not even inappropriate times. They’re just not doing anything at all.
I’m not sure if it’s the massive quantities of soy that are infecting our general population, rendering a man useless and weak. Maybe it’s a lack of interest in the other sex because of the options are are available. But whatever it is it has to stop.
Girls Hate It, Too
As much as it’s fun to complain about their attitudes, flaky nature, and the lack of any and all feminine warmth in the West (in comparison to say, Russian girls), girls are sick of men being weak. What’s a girl to think when the majority of guys don’t even have the courage to ask for her phone number on Tinder? Or when they won’t have the balls to ask her out over a simple text message?
It’s simply easier than ever to ask a girl out. Does anybody actually use the phone function on their cell phone these days? All it takes to get a girl to meet you for a drink is to type out a few works on your screen and press the ‘Send’ button. It’s so simple, and yet so many are still not doing it.
I’m old enough to now think back of the “good ol’ days” of high school—I didn’t go to school in the richest area, and most of us didn’t have mobile phones. If I wanted to call a girl and ask her out, I had to call her house phone. I had to deal with the realistic possibility of her parents picking up the phone and
explaining stuttering through who I was and why I wanted to talk to their girl, then asking if I could speak to their daughter. And if she wasn’t home, I had to hope they’d pass on the message and she’d return my call—then I’d wait by my own house phone to save her the ordeal of having to go through the same thing on my side of the line.
And if she didn’t call back, I’d have to go through the whole ordeal again.
A Reminder: Game Is NOT Always Needed
Game is not required as long as a girl is complying. Think of dating like a highway. You keep going on the road, to your end destination. It’s up to you as the man to guide her down that road. Occasionally, she’s going to take you off the road. Maybe she has to piss. Maybe she’s hungry (they always are). The reason doesn’t matter. The point is, you take a break from the road and then you get right back on it.
In terms of game, this means that she throws shit tests your way. When you’re trying to escalate things in a sexual sense, she tries to change the topics. You put her back on the road and keep going. You must continue to re-direct and drive towards the destination. Left in the hands of their own devices, women will veer you off the road and into a ditch, every time.
Of course, none of this is even necessary if she’s not deferring you in the first place—in that case, you’re more likely to screw things up by trying too hard. Sometimes she likes you and just wants you, it’s really that simple. This is increasingly true the more that sluttiness becomes accepted across society.
I noticed a stark contrast between dating earlier in my life (2013) versus more recent years. Repeatedly, I felt like I had girls out with me, and all I had to do was not screw it up. But, before I could get them out I had to follow the process.
- Obtain phone number (ask for it online or in-person)
- Follow up on phone number via text
- Is she compliant? Yes, great!
- Ask her out
- Set date and time on my terms
It was quite simple, and that simple process still works. It’s all the other hamstering that you do along the way that gets you into trouble. Game is shockingly similar to sales, and what’s the one thing they teach you in every sales class?
You have to ask.
The same applies to girls. If you’re not even willing to try to ask for her number or ask her on a date, you’re simply not going to get very far. It’s becoming increasingly clear that you can win the game just by doing more than most other guys are—and thankfully, most of them aren’t doing much.
You are always going to regret the girls that you didn’t try for. The one you didn’t ask out. The one you didn’t approach. The one you didn’t try to kiss. You’ll never regret the ones you did try for.
So get to trying.
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