In seduction as well as in business and politics, it is a huge mistake to show your hand too early. If you want to sleep with hot girls—and in particular if you want to keep them around afterwards—it is essential that you practice ‘constructive ambiguity’.
The clusterfuck that is Brexit is the gift that keeps giving over here in the U.K. right now. Many on the right were delighted when last June we voted to leave the European Union, regarding it as a modern-day peasants’ revolt against the bureaucracy and red tape imposed by Brussels, and a reclaiming of British sovereignty.
It is becoming increasingly difficult, though, for even the most ardent ‘leaver’ to find much to admire in the Tory governments’ handling of this complex process. I’ll spare you the details of our embarrassment on the world stage since it has been well-documented elsewhere, but suffice to say that Great Britain appears to be undecided about what it hopes to achieve, underprepared and naive at the negotiating table.
With Theresa May leading a minority government bolstered only by an alliance with the DUP, and with strong voices on the left (and right) eager to derail the whole Brexit process, we have an interesting few months ahead of us when the summer recess comes to an end.
While I am no fan of David Davis, our bumbling and allegedly alcoholic Brexit secretary, the man leading our negotiation, he did say something recently which makes a lot of sense.
You will find it difficult sometimes to read what we intend. That’s deliberate. I’m afraid in negotiations you do have constructive ambiguity from time to time.
In this Davis is absolutely right. For while he and his team have received a huge amount of criticism in the media, both in the UK and worldwide, for their handling of the whole process, it is entirely correct for him to suggest that allowing one’s opponent to have complete sight of your ‘hand’ upfront would be ridiculous.
The phrase ‘constructive ambiguity’ has been attributed to Henry Kissinger, said to be a foremost exponent of the art. It is also reflected in Robert Greene’s third law of power “Conceal Your Intentions’, and also in his fourth, ‘Always Say Less Than Necessary’.
Less generously, constructive ambiguity has been called ‘fudging’—that is, being deliberately vague in one’s use of language in order to cloud a complex issue.
In the case of the British government, it is difficult to say whether constructive ambiguity is actually being used as a deliberate strategy, or whether they are simply flailing in trying to deliver the impossible: a complete divorce from the EU bloc to appease eurosceptics while retaining key benefits of membership to ensure our economy doesn’t fall off a cliff in April 2019. Presumably this will become clear in time. But on a personal level, constructive ambiguity can be a hugely valuable tool, both in game and in life.
Constructive Ambiguity With Hot Girls
In pickup, the player who is most ambiguous about his intentions is the most intriguing and will therefore enjoy the hottest women. Does this mean that you should approach indirectly and conceal your sexual nature? No, not at all. Constructive ambiguity is absolutely not incompatible with being upfront about wanting sex with her. The mindset that you should adopt is as follows:
I am a man, and therefore of course it follows that I seek to sleep with hot young women. That is a fact and I own it. Nevertheless, I have multiple sexual options and so I remain ambiguous about my intentions around commitment.
When I approach a girl I like to make it very clear that I am a sexual being, that I see this as a man-woman interaction and that I am interested in her principally as a sexual prospect. I don’t mean that I tell her this in a clumsy way, but rather that it is implied in every aspect of my presentation from my eye contact with her to my tone of voice, to my body language, use of touch and so on.
Ambiguity around being a dominant man who desires sex and is unafraid of showing it is an anathema to females and will lead you straight to the friendzone.
However, ambiguity around your intentions with that specific girl is dynamite and will get her hooked. Yes, you would bang her, that goes without question. But equally, you are able and willing to walk away since you have so many other options. This is where teasing comes into its own.
I often open with something like ‘Hey, you’re cute.’ But I will immediately override this with a takedown of some kind, something teasing and challenging. I want her to realise that at this stage I’m ‘just browsing’. Yes, she’s an attractive option, but right now that’s all she is—an option. And with plenty of others waiting in the wings I am more than happy to walk away with no deal.
Once you have slept together you should continue with the same strategy (if you want to keep her around either as a friend with benefits or a girlfriend). Don’t be too eager. Don’t respond to her texts too quickly. When you do respond, always write less than her. Don’t drop your plans on her behalf. Be unavailable sometimes. Don’t talk about your feelings. Never initiate the ‘so are we boyfriend and girlfriend?’ conversation: let her do that.
By all means ignite the flame with a direct approach if you like, but after you’ve done that use constructive ambiguity to keep her guessing, to maintain her excitement and intrigue. As it becomes clearer that the UK’s short-to-medium term prospects outside of the EU are economically bleak, so our opponents surmise that we don’t have options and can proceed to screw us royally over Brexit. You don’t have the disadvantage of the world’s media being trained on you, so maintain your mystery at all costs. Always remember, if you are an open book then she will leave the library with another.
For a compilation of all Troy’s best game writing, advice and techniques from the last four years buy his new book How To Get Hot Girls Into Bed