Recently, a reader asked me a question regarding building a harem—more specifically, the question was, “How do I even start?” Indeed, it can be difficult for one to date multiple women if the pressing issue is getting a phone number, or getting a woman on a date.
In reality, much of life revolves around sales—selling oneself. Need a job? Sell yourself. Need a college scholarship? Sell. Want a date? Sell yourself. Want to fuck that hot girl? Again—sell, sell, sell.
However, there is always going to be a target market for selling to. How do you think selling diet pills to a group of bodybuilders would do? Probably not so well. But change that target market to a group of fat girls who love Oreos and all of a sudden you’re a wealthy man. Likewise, you wouldn’t try to sell eating a chicken salad for lunch to those girls, but you would for the bodybuilders.
In reality, game works the same way in the fact that you should go after the proper target audience. You should be looking for the YES girls—the ones who are intrigued by you and are going to put you through less hoops to have sex with them. It’s far better to filter for the YES girls and filter out the NO girls. Trying to convince the NO girls into liking you is an exhausting, demoralizing, and often fruitless tactic.
If you were trying to sell those diet pills to bodybuilders, you wouldn’t invest the time or energy in trying to change their mind. You’d take their “no”, and immediately move on to the next target. Look for the YES girls in game and your life will be much easier.
What Constitutes A Yes Girl?
There’s an old saying (don’t ask me who coined it), “You don’t need game as long as the girl is complying with you.”
And this is very, very true. Do you think Justin Bieber needs game? Definitely not. He filters exactly down to girls who will say yes to him, and just leaves the no girls behind. He doesn’t need them, after all. The yes girls are so compliant that they just go along with him.
For those of us without millions of fan girls, things are a little bit more difficult, but not impossible. In the case of cold approaching, you want to be looking for the girls who are having an engaging conversation with you. Not the ones that are making you fight tooth and nail for every inch of conversation. In the online world, the girls who are compliant and give you their number and agree to a date are far better options instead of the ones who throw endless tests your way (“But WHY do you need my number?”).
So how much do you invest in trying to get a number? When in doubt, it’s always better to get a number for the sake of having another lead than not. Just don’t invest too much energy in to them, but you never know when things might turn around. This leads me to my next point.
Remember The Fickle Nature
Despite what I’ve written above, like I said—there are exceptions. And girls are fickle, fickle creatures. Sometimes, it’s just one thing you say that turns a no girl straight into a yes girl (or sometimes, even vice versa).
Every one of your interactions should be a direct funnel to getting what you desire—usually sex. A girl’s job is to dissuade you from this path, in the form of off-topic conversations, shit tests, and more. Always redirect and put her back on the path that you want her on. This means getting her number, getting her out on a date, and then getting her into the bedroom. Think of it as a road trip—you’re going to have to make stops to eat and fill up the tank, but then you get right back on the freeway until you reach the destination.
Of course, in this metaphorical example, a girl is free to be left on the side of the road at any point—and that’s okay. Sometimes, that’s the nature of the beast. You have to leave girls behind. For one reason or another, they go hot to cold. It’s important to remember that it’s part of the game. Maybe her dog died. Maybe it’s that time of the month and she’s cranky. The exact details don’t matter, but you just keep filtering for the yes girls.
Put A System In Place
It’s important then to remember to systematize things to an extent. While I don’t think you need played-out pickup lines, having an idea of a system of conversation (or messages, if using online dating) that you know gets you results is excellent.
Does it take time to develop a system that works for you? Absolutely. Trial and error is the only way. It’s going to depend on where you live, your style, and your overall attitude you take towards game and life. Some guys go on dates and as as serious and mysterious as James Bond. Other guys go on dates with the goal of just having a good time. You have to figure out what works for you.
But, once you have figured out what works for you—stick to it. Stick to the system that works. Always move forward and if she isn’t on board—away she goes. Put girls through your system and be absolutely brutal about the rules of engagement. When it comes to girls, take the yes and fuck the rest.
Want to start building your own funnel of girls? Learn how in my book.