I keep seeing a commercial that features a cartoon woman who works in some kind of factory. Displayed prominently in her work-space is a Rosie the Riveter propaganda print, emblazoned with the slogan “We can do it.” Some robotic contraption is introduced, and then there’s a quick montage of the robots replacing every human worker there, except for her. Two faceless, shadowy men sneak up behind her and she makes a sad face, because that means the robots have taken her job, too.

Then there’s a quick cut to the woman (of course she’s a mom) enrolling in an online I.T. college program. She studies day and night and eventually her kids bake her a cake and she graduates and what do you know, she finds herself working a cushy office job where she periodically strolls down long halls of giant computer servers.

The ad ends with her taking a red pen and scrawling “I.T.” over the “it” in her aforementioned propaganda poster, as the syrupy strings of the most saccharine cover of The Cranberries’ “Dreams” you’ve ever heard fades into a full-on advertising pitch for the online university.

Of course, it’s all shameless shekels-grabbing cloaked under the warm and fuzzy security blanket of identity politics. The reality is that the University of Phoenix’s enrollment is easily two-thirds female, with blacks, Hispanics, and Asians making up about 60 percent of the student body. On top of that, less than half of all enrollees make it past their first year, and on the whole the school posts an atrocious 17 percent graduation rate.

And the punchline to all of this? There’s at least a 50/50 chance that the diplomas of those who somehow do manage to graduate is totally unaccredited, making the degree about as valuable as something you churn out on M.S. Paint in five minutes.

You’ve got to be one dense piece of work to think that, in just four years’ time, you can go from being an assembly line worker with no knowledge of coding to an integrated systems manager making north of $200,000 every year. But that’s exactly the kind of people these ads are taking advantage of – women.

Do you think these two have any idea what “API” stands for? For that matter, do you think they can even spell “API?”

A high tech illusion

There’s been a nonstop barrage of gender-baiting propaganda encouraging women to get into STEM fields, but the data has remained largely unchanged for more than a decade. Females, after all, barely account for 18 percent of computer engineering degrees in the U.S., so why should anybody find it surprising women are outnumbered by men in virtually every STEM field out there?

Since I.T. is big money, naturally the feminist types were going to complain about the “overrepresentation” of men in such high-paying fields. Strangely, these same mentally menstruating naggers and complainers seem to have no qualms whatsoever about the vast overrepresentation of females in high-paying industries like healthcare, education and especially social work, nor the glorious underrepresentation of women in such lower-paying fields as sanitation and construction work.

All that matters to them is that men are making a lot of money and not a whole lot of women are capable of performing as well in those same careers, so now it’s become some sort of social justice necessity to get as many women into coding and engineering jobs as possible.

There’s just one teeny, tiny problem, though: not only do women not want to go into these careers, those who attempt it soon find out they have no earthly clue what they’re doing and inevitably realize they will never be able to adequately compete in the glutted, globalized I.T. marketplace.

Or, to put it another way – women just don’t have I.T.

Don’t worry, Becky. I’m sure you’ll figure out how C++ works … one day.

Hardwired to fail

I don’t know if it’s social conditioning or just the way their brains are wired, but 95 percent of all the women I’ve encountered in my life have been technologically retarded. I’ve spent half my career working in or around colleges, and I can’t tell you how less technologically-inclined the alleged “fairer sex” is when it comes to even the most rudimentary computer tasks.

I’ve had to work with students and colleagues that had no idea how to send an attachment in an email or even access a Wi-Fi connection. Most male students and colleagues have no problem getting the fundamentals of Final Cut down, but virtually all of the females are hopelessly lost less than five minutes in. EVERY single time I got a report about a student clicking on scareware and thinking they’ve activated the latent Y2K bug – every, single, time – it was a female.

These are people who can’t figure out how to use WordPress, or even debug simple HTML. And you expect them to all of a sudden flip off their Instagram feeds, drop their intersectional feminist degree track and become mechanical engineers and front-end developers and plug-in designers? Take it from somebody with mucho experience in the area: you’d have an easier time training a fish to ride a bicycle.

Well, Rachel, if we can’t figure out how this CMS stuff works, we can always Ask Jeeves!

It’s not about inequality, it’s about intelligence

There’s a reason why Forbes’ list of the 100 richest people in tech contains a grand total of five women. By and large, women aren’t analytical problem solvers. They don’t see things holistically and even their spatial skills are remarkably worse than men.

By and large, they simply don’t have the cognitive toolkit to iron down things like web design, coding and especially systems management. And even if they did, can you imagine Jack Shit getting accomplished in the office with all those broads chinwagging about totally unimportant aspects of their personal lives all day? With such detail-oriented tasks on the docket, I just can’t imagine gossip-obsessed I.T. workers managing to do an adequate job monitoring anything – that is, besides their own Pinterest feed during on the clock hours.

Maybe it’s cultural, maybe it’s biological, but the fact of the matter is that men are just plain better at all the technical skills necessary to be successful in I.T. careers. Hell, I’d assume a good 95 percent of all men on the planet lack the cranial wherewithal to succeed in computer engineering or software development. As much as the feminists may want to ignore it, the meat of the matter is that most people on the planet just don’t have what it takes to be successful in I.T. fields, regardless of their gender.

Sorry, gals, it looks like this is one area where possessing a vagina simply isn’t enough to overcome a lack of the only organ that really matters in such competitive, international markets – good, old-fashioned brains.

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