Having recently travelled from Berlin to Ibiza, the two great party centres of Europe, I have as you might expect been doing quite a bit of night game. This has newly underlined for me the importance of a very simple but very important night game tactic: hanging in there.
You see, creating attraction through night game is actually pretty straightforward. The challenging part is to make something happen as a result of that attraction. In most cases it is the man who is able to stay up long enough and hang in there until the end of the night who is most likely to get laid.
The Pros and Cons of Night Game
Night game gets a lot of negative press in these parts and with good reason. You will probably be familiar with the problems it faces, but let me list a few for you here anyway: clubs are loud, noisy, and expensive. They are filled with girls who, already validated by thousands of Tinder and Instagram fans, have no real interest in hooking up. Also, girls’ ‘bitch shields’ are high, there is intense competition from other men and cockblocks abound.
All of this is true. However, in my opinion we shouldn’t entirely write night game off just yet (although you should practice it in combination with day game and other forms of pickup). Because the reality is that a lot of very attractive women go to clubs and a lot of guys get laid through them. These are simply facts, and that being the case it’s worth thinking a little more deeply about what techniques are actually most effective in a night time environment.
Actually, despite Tinder, girls still feel sexy in clubs and they will still hook up or go home with a man if he demonstrates enough value. So of course, it goes without saying that you must work on your value as hard as possible, which includes lifting, dressing well, style, being interesting, and all of those things that we talk about so frequently here at ROK. You must also be socially adept and learn the rudiments of game.
But once you’ve done those things it’s not really that hard to spark attraction in a club environment. Because night game has one massive advantage over day game—-approaching and hooking up is not only normal, it’s expected, and often welcomed. With day game you have the added challenge of communicating “Hey, this is normal! People meet in the Fish Oils aisle at Whole Foods all the time!” But with night game you are just doing what people have done for decades.
Once you’ve created that attraction though—or once you’ve picked up on an indicator of interest (IOI) from a girl—the real challenge is then to convert that into something tangible, like sex.
Here in Ibiza there is a massive problem with logistics. It’s not that there aren’t thousands of hot girls and it’s not that they’re not horny, it’s just that making something happen is a bitch. This is because (a) girls are paying upwards of €50 for a ticket to a club—they’re not just going to walk out with you at 2am, (b) most girls are with groups of friends, which means that they don’t want to look slutty by leaving with a random guy, plus they feel a sense of responsibility to the others, (c) everyone goes to clubs all night and then is pretty much comatose during the day, so it’s hard to organise a daytime meet and (d) it’s hot as hell which makes everyone lethargic and removes any sense of urgency.
Note that I’m not saying that hook-ups don’t happen in Ibiza—that would be ridiculous. I’m just saying that these are some of the downsides of night game here, and they mirror similar issues you’ll find everywhere else.
Last night, for example, I met two girls in Pacha (separately and both Canadian, coincidentally) who were interested in me. I took phone numbers from both and they have been messaging me today, but because of a combination of the above I haven’t been able to seal the deal with either yet
Hanging In There
This is where the noble art of hanging in there really comes into its own. What I mean by this is when you meet a girl in a club and there’s mutual attraction, and it’s late enough in the night (you can’t pull this off at 9pm!) then you have to be prepared to hang in there and stay with her until the end, no matter what.
It can be awkward, it can be boring, it can be uncertain and it can be frustrating, but doing it will give you the best possible chance of sleeping with that particular girl.
What hanging in there means in practice is pretty self-explanatory. I slept with a Lithuanian girl the other night by using this method. We met, then she wanted to go to a friend’s bar, so we went. Then she wanted to go to another bar so we went there too. Then she came back to my place but she wanted to sit up for hours drinking and talking about philosophy, so we did that too. Then at about 6am she agreed to go to bed ‘but only to sleep’. So we did that too. Finally, a few hours later we came to and had sex. But it was only because I was prepared to go with the flow and hang in there that this result was achieved.
Critics might say that you are effectively just dancing to the girl’s tune, playing the clown. And to some extent they’re right. But if you want to get results from night game then you have to recognise that it is a game and play the hand that you are dealt.
The evening with the Lithuanian girl required me to be patient and also to have faith that things would go my way (which was by no means certain.) It helps if you actually like hanging out with girls. I enjoyed myself and was able to put the outcome out of my mind for most of the time.
If you think hanging in there is a waste of time then don’t do it, but consider the alternatives you have. The probability of anything coming of those phone numbers I took in Pacha is small. The truth of the matter is that in night game—for naturals as well as for players—it is usually the last man standing who accrues the sexual rewards that so many desire.
For a compilation of all Troy’s best game writing, advice and techniques from the last four years buy his new book How To Get Hot Girls Into Bed.