One of the more common stereotypes of the manosphere is that it is full of angry, depressed men. Like most stereotypes, I believe this is true. However, I do not think it is our message which makes men depressed, but rather, men who are already bitter at the world tend to find the manosphere while searching for answers to their own miseries of life. There are mainly three types of manosphere readers:
1. Men who had shitty childhoods, and often grew up without any male role models.
2. Men who got screwed over, in way one or another, by a woman, and want to improve their love life.
3. Men who are already successful, but are looking for yet more ways to leverage their success.
This post is dedicated to the men in the first two groups. Invariably, men who are plagued with troubles go searching the internet for answers, since it is anonymous and avoids being shamed by others, and they stumble across one of the bigger manosphere websites while looking for answers. Then, once they find out that most of everything they’ve been told is a huge lie, it makes them angry and depressed. They hate the fact that a woman’s love is conditional. They hate the fact that America is a feminist state which actively destroys fatherhood. They hate the fact that our education system is nothing more than a glorified indoctrination system that teaches almost nothing of real world value while emasculating men.
I suppose that learning these harsh truths is not going to help a man who’s already on the brink of his emotional health. But, what is important to realize is that being depressed isn’t itself important. What is truly important is to understand your own emotional self, and to try and understand what it is that makes you depressed so you can avoid it.
Let me elaborate.
I do not think humans have much, if any, free will. You do not control how you feel, you do not control how you are raised, what you learn, your culture, your physical health, etc. Thus it also seems plainly obvious to me that a man’s emotions are controlled by external stimuli. So while you cannot choose how you feel in reaction to certain stimulus, you can, at the very least, attempt to control what stimulus comes your way.
So the easiest way to alter your surroundings is to travel. And indeed, travel is the only cure that I have found to depressions throughout my life.
I have suffered from numerous depressions since I turned 16. At least ten different depressions, two of which lasted over a year. Daily thoughts of suicide and all that. But I pressed on. I did not want medication because my rational mind understood that being dependent on drugs for my happiness was not a long term solution. For most of my depressions, I just waited it out. And slowly they went away. But the time lost during depressions was unacceptable.
When a man is depressed, he lets everything go to waste: his body, his mind, his money, his relationships, and his professional life. It is as bad as being struck with a debilitating illness such as cancer. The worst part? There’s technically nothing wrong with you – it is only emotional in nature. And this realization only feeds into your depression even more, because you convince yourself that you’re just a fuck-up who can’t do anything right even though you’ve got every reason to succeed.
That’s why finding a cure to depression is extremely important – your time is precious. And the only times I can remember when I overcame my depressions quickly occurred at two points in my life:
1. When I went to college.
2. When I visited an old friend in Atlanta.
Both times I had been depressed beforehand, and both times when I changed my environment my depression went away. For college, it was because I finally got the hell out of my overbearing parents house and no longer had to attend my shit high school, while with Atlanta, it was because it gave me a fresh perspective on American culture that had been sorely lacking from my New England existence.
That is the most mysterious part – other than changing my environment, I cannot put my finger on exactly what happened to improve my mood. For college I totally uprooted myself and changed locations, while for Atlanta I only went for a week to hang out with a good friend I hadn’t seen in years. But by simply removing myself from my old toxic environment I had stopped the pollution from entering my emotional mind, which was all it took to bring about a clean slate. And although coming back from Atlanta I re-entered the shitty culture of the North East once again, at least I knew for a certainty that it was not the norm, that there exists a part of the USA where people casually say “Hello!” to one another, where people still live in segregated communities yet aren’t afraid to acknowledge or talk to someone who isn’t of their own kind.
Even with temporary travel a man gains perspective, which is often enough for him to set goals on what to do next with his life. And with a permanent relocation, you can completely remove yourself from the old environment that was causing you to feel like trash all the time.
So if you feel sad, angry, or just plain unsatisfied with life – remember, it is your emotional mind telling you something. Your emotional mind does not like whatever circumstances you are in, and by making you feel like shit all the time, your emotional mind is hoping you’ll change locations so that your emotional mind no longer has to deal with whatever poison it is currently saturated with.
And do not travel with the mere intent of getting fucked up and banging sluts. Instead, go somewhere for at least a week or more, and spend it totally sober, preferably with a good friend of yours, simply giving yourself as much time as you need to recover. Few things are more important than your health, and your emotional health is a necessary component of that.
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