I’ve been dating a Ukrainian girl for about one year now. Throughout this time, I’ve learned a lot. Things that I assumed about relationships have been proven false. Issues that arose from my relationships with Western girls have been absent with the Ukrainian. Overall, my outlook has changed drastically.
This is for many reasons. The overall attitudes and mannerisms of women in Eastern Europe are drastically different. In some areas my expectations have been exceeded, but I keep myself grounded. But probably the biggest thing is that they’re actually pleasant and intelligent (you can listen to her on my podcast to get an idea of what I mean). With that being said, here are three things I’ve learned and observed from dating a Ukrainian girl for the last year.
1. Relationships Are Valued
If there’s one thing I learned from all the trouble of dating in Los Angeles, it’s this: even if a girl really likes you, you’re not going to be in good shape if you agree to any sort of relationship before six or so months.
You really have to string them along and make her beg and plead for you to be an exclusive couple. If you broach the topic, or even cave to her desires too quickly—she’ll simply lose respect for you. But the pride of Western girls prevents them from asking you for at least a few months. Why?
Simple. The sex and the city lifestyle. The fact is that she has options (even if they aren’t high-quality, they are numerous). And that matters, because she can brag about it to her friends to feel valued. Never underestimate the value of attention. Attention to girls is what sex is to guys. All we really do is trade them.
The point is, relationships with an Eastern European girl are valued. An Eastern European girl isn’t going to get shamed because she got into a committed relationship with a guy after dating him for two months. She isn’t going to hide you from her friends as long as possible—she’s going to want you to meet them and see if they approve. Same goes for parents (albeit that seems to come later).
2. A Curiosity To Learn
When I was living in the west, my first few dates with girls were always 100% on autopilot. I look back and remember very few things, simply because many dates were very, very similar. I’ve often thought to myself: is it my fault they were this way? Could I have made them more “exciting”?
After much pondering, my answer is no.
Because I did what worked. Getting into deeper intellectual or philosophical conversations was a surefire way to make sure she wouldn’t have sex with me. Instead, my routine followed something more like this:
- Meet at the same bar, every time.
- Buy the first round, and tell her she’d be buying the second.
- Chit-chat about general stuff for 15 minutes.
- Turn the topics sexual by using the questions game. The same questions, every single time.
- Have her buy the second round.
- I buy the third round, in cash and make sure we’re ready to go at a moment’s notice.
- As the third round (sometimes not even this) of drinks conclude, mention something “cool” at my apartment that came up in the questions game.
- Walk home from the bar.
- Crack open bottle of wine.
- BS with her for 30 minutes, then bang.
It was all just lifeless. Now, I’m not saying you should go on a date with a foreign girl and start trying to discuss Keynesian economics with her, but in most cases foreign girls just have more going on in their head than the Western counterparts. There is an innate curiosity about the world. A desire to learn and to broaden her intellectual capacity.
A perfect example is this: I’ve recently been assigning her weekly articles to write about for my small niche website about Ukraine. Last week, she made her first ever sale from online business—a whopping $2.30. Despite the low number, the look of elevation and accomplishment is just something I never saw on the face of a Western girl. They all seemed far more interested in just watching reality television.
3. A Desire To Please, But…
Simply put, girls in Eastern Europe want to please their guy. However, they manage to do this while still being reasonably independent.
I don’t mean this in the “strong-independent-look-at-me-roar” way that Western feminism pushes the agenda. I simply mean that over the last year, I have found her to be a strong person more than capable of handling her own issues without my assistance.
But despite that, she still wants to make me happy. She manages to be strong and independent and yet feminine at the same time. This is a skill and balance that definitely seems to escape most of the girls in the west—even if they are deeply in love with you. She manages to make me feel needed, and yet not needed at the same time. It’s a delicate balance.
I don’t want to say that everything is perfect. Nothing ever is. It can be difficult at time dating someone from a drastically different culture (language, anyone?). But the pros absolutely outweigh the cons. She has added tremendous value to my life, and even has taught me a few things about the world.
Throughout my time abroad, I’ve come to appreciate some things that are available Stateside (Amazon Prime, customer service, etc.), but there is one thing I just can’t seem to miss. Dating. Undoubtedly, I’ve been spoiled rotten by my experiences in Eastern Europe. I wonder how things will continue to go in the longer-term with her. I guess I’ll let you know at this time next year.