We’ve analyzed leftist ideology nine ways from Sunday here, trying to figure out why they’re so consistently wrong most of the time, and more importantly how we can stop them from wrecking society. However, the olfactory factor thus far hasn’t been explored yet: why do so many of them smell like used cat litter? B.O. doesn’t only stand for Barack Obama, after all. So what’s up with leftist hygiene deficiency?
As an example, a former college roommate (who I endured for mercifully less than a semester) was a Social Justice Warrior. He sold drugs from our room, and eventually flunked out after frying his brains on the merchandise. I could write an entire article of anecdotes concerning him, but for now one thing comes to mind. He got a bad cut on his knee, probably from a skateboarding accident. Rather than clean it up, he let the blood dribble down his leg and get all crusty.
Not every leftist looks (and smells) like Pigpen, of course. Some of them are tidy and, to their credit, maintain a normal appearance. Still, there seems to be an odd correlation going on, as we’ll examine. Are they allergic to water or something? Why would someone want to be habitually grungy?
The hippies of old were notoriously fragrant. There’s only so much that patchouli can do to cover up unwashed body funk. As Ronald Reagan put it:
Hippies act like Tarzan, look like Jane, and smell like Cheetah.
Was their soap-free aroma simply a result of itinerant lifestyles, communes lacking plumbing, and all the rest of it? Tom Wolfe paints a fuller picture here, giving us the first clues to the matter at hand. In Hooking Up, he wrote:
In 1968, in San Francisco, I came across a curious footnote to the hippie movement. At the Haight-Ashbury free clinic there were doctors who were treating diseases no living doctor had ever encountered before, diseases that had disappeared so long ago they had never even picked up Latin names, diseases such as the mange, the grunge, the itch, the twitch, the thrush, the scroff, the rot. And how was it that they had returned? It had to do with the fact that hundreds of young men and women had migrated to San Francisco to live communally in what I think history will record as one of the most extraordinary religious fevers of all time.
The hippies sought nothing less than to sweep aside all codes and restraints of the past and start out from zero.
Part of the discarded rules included:
…those that said you shouldn’t use other people’s toothbrushes or sleep on other people’s mattresses without changing the sheets or, as was more likely, without using any sheets at all, or that you and five other people shouldn’t drink from the same bottle of Shasta or take tokes from the same cigarette.
Since the germ theory of medicine was common knowledge by the 1960s, they should’ve known better than to trade infections. As an illustration of the problem, Dennis Wilson of the Beach Boys had the Manson Family camping out at his place in 1968. Their mooching cost him $100K (about $700K in 2017 dollars), and part of that included an epic doctor bill for treating their venereal diseases. Still, the worst was later to come with the AIDS epidemic.
Indeed, what leftists still don’t get is that throwing out all of society’s “outmoded” rules is a pretty efficient way of discovering why they existed in the first place. The most radical elements of the counterculture took this up to eleven:
One Weatherman would later tell me that in order to rid the members of their bourgeois habits, the collectives forced couples to separate, required homosexuality, drugtaking and round-the-clock sessions of self-criticism. One time, they skinned and ate an alley cat. My contact, thin, trembling and glassyeyed, said that the houses were full of dirty dishes, rancid food and stinking toilets.
Other than that, coordinated public urination was a feature of some 1960s civil rights demonstrations. Of course, official accounts usually leave that out. Naturally, irritating the Establishment like this wasn’t exactly a good way to win hearts and minds for the Cause. “Shit-ins” weren’t unheard of either, and not the last time this creative form of protest has been used.
Still, I have to give credit where it’s due; hippie fashion was kind of cool. I’m okay with sandals, tie dye shirts, headbands, and love beads. When I was a little brat, I found those guys a bit fascinating. They’ve made a comeback lately, reinvented with their original name: hipsters. Unfortunately, today’s hipsters dress funny; it’s their uniform. Worse, they frequently disfigure themselves with piercings and low-quality tattoos, which the 1960s Flower Children generally had the good sense not to do.
I can’t hate on the Occupy Wall Street folks too much, as they did have some valid points about the state of modern globalist finance. However, they diminished the impact of their message by creating public nuisances with their months-long sit-ins. Part of that included leaving piles of trash for other people to clean up, and there’s an iconic photo of one of them pooping on a police car.
Dirty big-name leftists
Quite a few of the best-known leftists also had little use for the rudiments of personal hygiene:
- Diogenes: Not a leftist in the modern sense, rather a kooky philosopher who specialized in defying social norms; if the shoe fits, wear it. He started out as a banker, kicked out of his home city for debasing the currency, though his sins are picayune compared to the Federal Reserve. To describe himself, he invented the word “cosmopolitan”, though at least he didn’t take cosmopolitanism to destructive extremes like Coudenhove-Kalergi. By choice, he lived like a bum, dwelling inside a large cask; basically Oscar the Grouch of ancient Greece.
- Jean Paul Marat: This revolutionary fruitcake was a demagogue who exhorted the public to go on a rampage: the French Revolution. Other than that, he had epic body odor because of a skin disease he caught hiding in the sewers. After the point of no return, baths could only alleviate the itching, which is exactly where Charlotte Corday put him out of his misery.
- Karl Marx: He lived in a filthy apartment, and carbuncles covered his body. He could afford booze, but apparently not a bar of soap, or for that matter food for his family.
- Che Guevara: This murderer of hundreds (at least) avoided bathing and washed his shirt once a week. Since he had a medical degree, he should’ve known better. He didn’t mind that his friends called him Chancho (pig).
- Fidel Castro: Like his pal Saint Che, Uncle Fidel didn’t care for baths or fresh clothes, earning him the name Bola de Churre (grease ball). Surely the smelly cigars didn’t help either.
- Mao Zedong: Chairman Mao didn’t bathe, though of course killing tens of millions through malice and incompetence was a smidge worse. He didn’t brush his teeth either, causing them to turn green and leak pus from the gums. He suffered from fleas and lice, which would make any normal person get hip to cleanliness. Despite the protestations of his doctor, he didn’t get his venereal diseases treated. Still, he managed to get laid like a rock star, truly a testament to the power of power and fame. Other than that, he crapped in the garden.
- Jean-Paul Sartre: This drip of a philosopher considered hygiene and grooming a waste of time. Simone de Beauvoir, in a polyamorous relationship with him, was notoriously stinky too.
- Many of today’s celebrities could stand a little more acquaintance with soap and water.
Needless to say, if you were on a long flight, you wouldn’t want to be sitting next to anyone like these characters. Did they think they were too important to be bothered with things like bathing? Were they taking the phrase “unwashed masses” a bit too literally?
I can’t think of any comparable rightists notable for being grungy. I just don’t understand. If I’m not freshly showered and in clean clothes, I feel impure and then clean myself up.
Pourquoi vivent-ils comme ça?
I’m hard pressed to find an answer to the great riddle of leftist squalor. Rebellion for its own sake seems to be a contributing factor. Still, likely the best explanation is the same as why they make themselves ugly by choice, sometimes with horrifying results. Staying neat and maintaining your appearance isn’t just good for your love life; let it be an act of defiance too.