It’s a question that I still often see on social media: Should men, given the degenerate state of modern society, get married? Let’s start with the case against getting marriage, which seems to be getting stronger by the day.
The case against marriage
Those who argue that men should avoid marriage generally make the following points:
1. Women are hypergamous
Hypergamy is the concept of marrying someone with a higher social status. This has always been the case. In the Middle Ages, the nobility tried to marry their daughters to nobles who were equal or higher in rank. In the Mad Men era, secretaries would marry their bosses. Men are also hypergamous but it manifests differently. While women tend to look for wealthier or higher class men, men gravitate toward the most attractive girl they are able date and marry.
There is a good reason why women are hypergamous: When it works it enables women to secure the best provider for their future children. The offspring of a handsome, wealthy man will start life with a leg up over their competitors while the children of poor men are going to face more adversity. Hypergamy is a built-in feature of women. Some of them may not even be aware that they are being hypergamous. They are just fulfilling their natural inclination. As such, hypergamy is a good thing. A hypergamous woman has higher standards. Would you really want to marry someone who has low standards?
The problem arises when hypergamy doesn’t end when a couple pronounces their marriage vows. At that point, hypergamy should end because the couple has vowed to be faithful to one another but modern divorce laws make it easy for women to divorce their husbands to fulfill the fantasy of marrying up. However, it is rare that a divorcee will truly find her Prince Charming, which explains why there are so many bitter women out there.
2. Easy divorce
While hypergamy isn’t new, easy divorce is. The first no-fault divorce law was signed by cuckservative icon Ronald Reagan back in 1969. It was introduced on the premise that it would make divorce more merciful on the parties. Instead, it has caused the divorce rate to skyrocket, weakened society, and helped lead us into the colossal mess we are in. No-fault divorce means that there doesn’t have to be adultery, physical abuse, or abandonment for a couple to get a divorce. All you need is the desire to not be together anymore.
The problem is exacerbated because pop culture has instilled in us that a marriage is only valid so long as you are “in love.” But any marriage is going to have points where you might not have warm feelings about your spouse. Our ancestors understood this and so they made the vows the foundation of the marriage, but modern day women, raised on degenerate Hollywood movies and D grade chick-lit, are trained to think the marriage is over the moment they learn their husband is not as exciting as Christian Grey of the 50 Shades series.
3. Divorce rape
Courts used to award alimony in the cases where there is a big income disparity between the earning power of the spouses. This happens a lot less now that women have earning power just about equal to men, but if you are in the NBA and divorce your wife, you might find out that you’ll need to pay your ex for several years. However, I don’t think most men need to worry about this scenario.
The whole game changes if you have kids. Courts put the needs of the children first. That usually means the mother will get custody of the children along with child support payments. These can be quite steep. And if you fail to pay your child support, you will find yourself in jail until you manage to cough up the funds. The divorced men I’ve talked to tell me that they don’t have a problem spending money for the good of their children but they don’t want to benefit the woman who ultimately destroyed the marriage. Women know this and actually rub salt in their ex-husband’s wounds. I’ve seen women on Instagram boast about how they spent their child support check on new shoes.
Child support can be an onerous and, at times, an unfair burden on men. But you don’t need to get married to feel the pain of child support. You only need to father a child, so this is not really an argument against marriage.
4. Not enough high quality women remain
Now we come to what I consider the most compelling reason to avoid getting married: You lack choice. This has become a real problem in the modern age.
There have always been men and women who are unmarriageable. Perhaps they are ugly, stupid, or have a grating personality. For the sake of argument, let’s assume that in the 1950s, 10% of men and women were unmarriageable. That left about 90% of men chasing the same number of women—as a man your odds were pretty good.
The situation has changed. The immoral climate has lowered the standards for both men and women, but quality of women has been hit disproportionally through obesity, adopting SJW beliefs, and becoming sluts. It’s obviously not scientific, but we now have more men chasing fewer women.
Because women are hypergamous, they will seek out the highest quality males. This means that the men who have a lower sexual market value will have to choose: Wife up a fat carousel rider or stay unmarried. As in the animal kingdom, alpha males win this game while the lower betas end up being losers.
Reasons in favor of marriage
While there are some reasons why you might avoid marriage in our post-modern age, there are still lots of reasons why getting hitched still makes good sense.
1. It is the best environment for raising children
Yes, you could have children out of wedlock with your live-in girlfriend but you’ll eventually have to explain to your children why you didn’t think highly enough of their mother to put a ring on it. Simply living together also makes it easier to leave when the going gets tough—and it inevitably does in every relationship. But if the couple splits, you are back to single motherhood which all research indicates is terrible for the children’s future.
2. It’s the only way to build a dynasty
Throughout history, dynastic succession was counted only through legitimate heirs. Bastard sons were excluded. This is because men have a low standard for who they will bang, but a high standard for who they will marry. The children you father with your wife will bear your name. More importantly, they will be raised by you and your wife, allowing you to make the greatest impression on your kids. You don’t have the same effect with the various bastards you might sire.
3. Being married is good for men
Despite what you may have heard, married men usually have more sex than single men. It’s always easier to have sex with the woman you sleep next to every night than to go out to the bar a few nights a week in search of a one-night stand. And sex aside, good wives genuinely love and care for their husbands. The love a good woman is a thing to be cherished.
Marriage is the foundation of civilization. Without it, chaos will eventually overcome society. Therefore, men should still aim to get married even though modern society has made that difficult by corrupting our women. The trick to winning in this difficult marriage market is to be a high quality man. The best way to do that is to commit to ongoing self-improvement and by holding yourself to high standards.