Lifestyle time-warp1

June 5th, 2013

What Effort Looks Like

By

I’ll be the first to say I’m still far away from where I want to be in terms of success with women.  In 2013, however I’ve noticed an uptick in my ability with women.  Save two instances of pure novelty (smallest hands I’ve ever seen and an older MILF with a strange accent) the quality has been consistently of a higher nature — something that has not always been the case.

Recently I had some absurd success in a two-night stay in NYC and upon sharing the story with my friends, a few refused to believe I could have done what I did.  After some thought I couldn’t blame them, because they just heard about my results and not my efforts.  If I told this story to myself four years ago, I also wouldn’t believe it.  To those friends of mine that don’t see (or know) the psychosis by which I approach my infatuation with pursuing girls and the related effort that it requires, it does seem unbelievable.

I’ve been single since January 1, 2011.  I discovered the red pill at that point and from then until now, I’ve put in a lot of effort into my so-called game.  I went from stumbling my way into sex (aka drinking a ton), to figuring out how to actually pull girls in a calculated manner, to now working towards quality.  But none of this is accidental and is the culmination of a lot of effort.

This article’s point is nothing new.  Everyone knows that practice makes perfect, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, or whatever other trite motivational phrase you want to put in there.  Everyone knows this because it’s true.  But instead of the abstract what about the details?  What does the generic term “effort” look like actually translated into numbers?  Here are some figures from time spent chasing girls during my peak:

  • Going out at night, probably 3x a week to game new girls. About 6 hours each night (2 to shower/dress/predrink/commute, 4 at bar). 18 hours.
  • Hungover recovery next day, minimum 3 hours per night out whether it’s extra sleep or just being useless. 9 hours.
  • Dates per week, vary from 1-3. So let’s say 2, at 3 hours each (2.5 hour date, 30 min prep). 6 hours.
  • Reading game related blogs and other material. Roughly 1 hour a day x 7 days. 7 hours.
  • Discussing game/strategy with red pill friends. Roughly 20 minutes a day x 7 days. Round it to 2 hours.
  • Text/calls to girls. Rough weekly total of 2 hours.
  • Online pipelining. Roughly 2 hours per week.

So we have a estimated total of 46 hours per week, or nearly 2 full days per week. That’s another fucking job.  But there is absolutely no denying that all this time spent works, and works well. In 2011 I was just getting used to being single and the concept of game.  I really started my “craze” in 2012 and in that year, I had sex with as many girls as I’ve had in my entire life previously.

Then there are my efforts geared towards lifestyle which admittedly partly stem from my desire of higher quality girls.  I have started working towards learning my fourth language.  It is a great feeling to be talking to a girl that is only slightly interested in you, find out she is Russian, and switch to some basic Russian only to see her eyes light up with joy.  Or to be on a date, and when discussing your travels, mention you can speak 4 languages and watch their perceived value of you rise right before your own eyes.  But again it’s not like one can just pick up Russian by throwing in some time here and there.  Despite having my full-time job, I took night classes at a community college for an entire semester, attending classes for 3 hours twice a week, with another 3 hours of driving time per week.  In addition I would listen to 30-minute Pimsleur lessons about 4 mornings a week.  So in these 15 weeks, I spent 165 hours working towards learning Russian.  Will this payoff? I don’t know yet, but I know it will give me a lot more opportunities than if I did not put in this amount of time.

The craziest night of my life (perhaps for another post) happened because I was able to speak to a girl in Spanish when she rebuffed my English advances.  Spanish I learned when I was younger and kept somewhat sharp over the years with practice.

Effort follows both cumulatively and in singularity too.  Above are some examples of the benefits of cumulative effort.  Then there comes the dedication and effort you put in on a nightly basis — or more directly stated — per bang.  A few examples of what I’ve actually pulled off by not giving up:

  • Meeting a girl at a bar (11:30pm), watching her bounce from guy to guy giving away her number, finding her at closing time, then driving all her friends to various places to get their cars, finally going back to her place only to have to help her walk her hermaphroditic dog (yes you read that correctly), coming back to see her neighbors drinking in the courtyard and having to join them for a bottle of wine, to finally banging her at 5am.
  • After my second date of the night (first was horrible, second was a bang), having the energy to go out again.  Getting declined at one club, walking back and seeing a girl smoking a cigarette and joining her.  Finding out she was German, getting invited to join her and her father listening to live music, following them to a club after a random Rabbi invited us to join him, making out with her in the club watching my back because her father was drunk and the size of a lineman, her arguing with her father and eventually ditching him to come home with me.  My night started at 8pm on the first date and ended at 8am the next day with the German.

With Effort Comes Failure

Nobody likes broadcasting their failures.  A big reason why everyone should be weary of any PUA material that promises golden success with few failures.  So while my friends or the public may see me succeeding here and there, they never see the nights where nothing happens.  Last night, I walked around Vienna for 2 hours in the cold trying to find some place to go and finally giving in after realizing my only option was a group of chunksters sharing pizza and beer.  A few weeks ago I went from bar to bar approaching multiple girls in Newport Beach only to walk home with a slice of cheese pizza and a massive hangover.  A cute blonde recently told me it’s not going to happen on a date after I tried to kiss her.  After my friend brought back a girl from a Hollywood club and I didn’t, I was woken up repeatedly hearing him have sex 5x in one night in the bedroom of our rented apartment as I was trying to sleep on a futon in the living room with a towel as my only source of covering.  Failing happens, and it happens a lot.

But when you adopt the right mentality, and are willing to actually put in some substantial effort, you can do some things that will even you yourself can’t believe you’ve done.  It’s pretty cool.

Read Next: Title Of The Post


About the Author

is an attorney and the litigation partner of his law firm. A traditionalist at heart, he travels often in an attempt to expose himself to as many cultures across the globe as possible. His column runs every so often and he can be found on Twitter as well.

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