Coming into game and understanding inter-gender dynamics is an eye-opener for many men, and it takes some longer than others to understand what the best strategies available are to those who want to improve their success with women. When people find out that I write about game for a living they will often ask what my best ‘chat up’ line is, failing to understand that the ‘opener’ is really just that, an opener. No single line is ever strong enough to get a woman into bed immediately (unless that line is ‘I am Justin Bieber’).
But if they asked me what my best overall strategy for meeting women was, I would say that it is flipping the script. In fact, it is only by learning to flip the scrip proficiently that you will start to see incremental gains in your success with girls over time as well as in your social standing.
What Is The Script?
Think about how social interactions between men and women are usually calibrated for a moment. As you will be aware, the whole set up in Western society positions the woman as the dominant actor with the man a kind of underdog who must kow-tow to her, bring her gifts and entertain her in order to be in with a chance of vaginal access with her.
The concept of courtly love, which was identified by writers and historian in the 19th century but was actually operational from 1099 or so in France, was a highly stylised form of courtship where knights were encouraged to undertake acts of extreme bravery in order to win the hearts of the ladies they were enamoured of. Unbelievably, poets actually declared themselves ‘vassals’ of their lady, even addressing her as maidens, or ‘my lord.’ So subjugated were men at this point that they actually referred to women in the masculine. And you thought guys being cucked was something new!
This notion of the female as a superior being whose affections can only be obtained through male supplication has infused literature, art, music and film ever since. It is so deep-rooted in our culture as to be almost indomitable. And today, in the age of selfies and Instagram, with thirsty men liking each and every attention-whoring post that gets put up, day or night, you might reasonably argue that its fever pitch has only increased. It is for this reason that flipping the script is more important than ever for gaining cut-through in a competitive sexual marketplace.
What Is Flipping The Script?
Flipping the Script is defined like this:
Reversing the usual or existing positions in a situation; doing something unexpected or revolutionary.
It has been part of pick-up phraseology for many years now, along with another, related concept: ‘You are the prize.’ Basically, when it comes to dealing with women, the idea is simply that you must refuse to except the frame of the underdog and instead go into every interaction with the unstated assumption that you as the guy are the dominant party, and she should be the one who proves herself worthy of you.
Of course, this sounds very simple in outline, but how do you actually go about putting it into practice? It’s not easy, especially since you are effectively pushing back against centuries of social conditioning and the conventional operating system that scaffolds our culture.
Why It Works
But it is precisely for these reasons that flipping the script works so well. Think about this for a moment. Who are the guys who are walking around now who are naturally unintimidated by hot girls, and who are naturally uncowed by them? Very rich, very handsome, very high-value alpha males. Pop stars, billionaire playboys, members of the Saudi royal family, rappers, actors. You get the idea.
Now if a hot girl is treated in an offhand manner by one of the above, do you think she’s going to be surprised or mad? No, of course she isn’t. Recognising that such a man is higher value than her, she will naturally expect him to be off-hand with her, perhaps even rude. Why? Because he’s special and unique and she isn’t. You think a really hot girl, a 9, expects Justin Bieber to be nice to her off the bat? No she doesn’t, because she knows that, however hot she is, his social capital as a world-famous celebrity is infinitely higher than hers. So when he is rude to her at the stage door after a concert she will only try harder to impress him, so much so she’ll actually be grateful if he finally deigns to have sex with her.
The Power Of Flipping The Script
Here’s the thing. The social convention of guys having to be supplicating to girls in order to get into their pants is actually extremely useful to women. Not only does it mean they get free drinks, dinners, cars, holidays to Dubai and so on, but it also means that they are able to discern the real high-value men from the fake.
A really high value man, like Bieber, might choose to lavish a girl with gifts, but he wouldn’t have to in order to sleep with her. In fact, most girls would think it weird if he did. Can you imagine? ‘Hi, it’s Justin. I bought you these flowers because I think you’re really nice.’ It would be entirely incongruent. All Justin has to say is three words—‘Room 1895 now’—in order to get girls in his bed: and they know it.
Now, we can take advantage of this phenomenon to our benefit, because when you start acting with the imperious disdain of a rock star then girls are naturally going to be curious. OK, a few might laugh and call into question your right to be so cocky. But even so, they will wonder. ‘How come this guy is acting so dismissive of me? There must be something about him.’ As I have said before, you don’t necessarily have to be a high-value stone cold alpha off the bat. If you can take on some of the habits and attitudes of the alpha then you will find yourself being put into that category by default, since girls by-and-large just aren’t used to low value guys acting like that,
How Do You Flip The Script
How to do it? That could be the subject of a whole book. The most obvious tool at your disposal is ‘fake it ’til you make it‘. To misquote the acting professor Stanislavsky, you should ‘act as if’. Try to imagine what Bieber (or whoever else you’d like to emulate) would do as he walked down this street or came into contact with girls in this club. How would he look at them? How would he speak to them? What would he say? What would his tonality be like? What would his body language look like? How would his eye contact and gestures be?
If you want to get specific, go on to YouTube and study whoever it is you’re thinking of for some tips. Then practice acting just like that. Another tool that has been very useful to me over the years is defiance. I was a classic hard-case beta who simply refused to live my life in that way. Years ago I used to shrink into the corner in nightclubs afraid to make eye contact. Now, friends and colleagues tease me for my walk, which they call a strut—they say I walk around like I own the place, which I do.
My voice is a loud and strong, my eye contact is good and if anything I have to tone down my natural ebullience and confidence when I meet people in order not to dominate proceedings. This is not to big myself up, but merely to indicate that you can change and adopt high-value behaviours—and a great way to spark that process off is by getting angry with yourself and refusing to behave like a little bitch any longer.
A Note Of Caution
One note of caution: if you are at a less than optimal stage in other areas of your life, then simply flipping the script on its own may not deliver you miraculous results. What I mean is this. If you walk around the club acting like a rock star when actually you’re broke, overweight and dressed badly then of course people are going to see through that. Now, perhaps Jack Black walks around the club like that and still gets laid (although of course he’s not broke) but he also has a ton of social proof backing him up.
So my message, as always, is that as with any game tool, as you use it you must also simultaneously look to raise your real sexual market value in all other areas. You should be reading books, you should be going to the gym, you should be eating right, dressing well and so on. But simply by adopting the mental and behavioural habit of flipping the script, I promise you will start to see positive changes in the ways girls react to you.