Chances are if you’re reading this, you’re going through, or have already gone through, a major change in your life. You’re clearly not happy with something, but maybe it’s hard to quantify exactly what that something is. Frankly, this is the most aggravating thing about the entire process of unplugging. Nothing has turned out how it was supposed to. Hopefully, you’ve now realized that you’re not quite alone in this big and vast world.
Now comes the hardest part, one that many are unable to ever move past: acceptance.
It will be the hardest thing you have ever done in your life, hands-down. Learning to come to terms with everything that you once knew, that has now been shattered, will break you down in ways you cannot even fathom. Many men don’t make it out on the other side. Those who do are rewarded greatly. Those who do not are left behind in perpetual angst. They know the truth, are able to grasp straws of it, but cannot take action. They have to live the rest of their life in a constant state of regret.
Regret is the worst thing in the world. You will take it to your grave and it will bury you like dirt. However, having the knowledge to fix your life and not doing it every single day will destroy you. You will have no soul left to take to the grave.
Childhood Got It Wrong
I went to school when I was a small child, and I behaved myself. I didn’t pull girls pigtails, I didn’t break stuff, and I got good grades. I’ll always remember how all the girls loved me because I was so nice. My mom always tells the story about how when I was in first grade, and got invited to a girl’s birthday party. There were about twenty girls and I was the only boy. Man, if I could go back in time, I would go punch six-year-old me in the face and tell him to start pulling those pigtails. Six-year-old me was naive and had an excuse. 25-year-old me doesn’t have that convenience anymore.
It’s important to really sit down and hammer out everything that you’ve potentially been lied to in your life. Everything is not what it appears, and there is a reason masculinity has become so pathetic in the Western culture. Men have been biologically programmed for thousands of years to desire a high amount of sex, to make decisions, to fight, and to build. Everything that makes the masculine.
The problem is that in the last fifty or so years, we’ve had a cultural shift of thinking. Unfortunately, people get culture and hardwired biology mixed up. You simply cannot undo thousands of years of biological programming with fifty years of cultural programming. In today’s world, men are being told to be sensitive (not fight), be nice (results in no sex), to work for someone else (not building), and to defer to your woman in every possible case (not decisive).
Yes, don’t you dare do something without her permission. You know what I’m talking about. Most of you reading it have “those friends”—unable to get up to take a piss without his wife’s permission.
Women Are Mixed Up, Too
And rather than being angry at them for going for the bad boys, for rejecting you, and generally making your life tough—you need to let go of that anger. You must feel a bit of empathy for them. You have to understand that they are just confused about the current cultural predicament as you are. To blame them for these faults in a torment of misogyny will not get you where you want. It won’t get you more sex, it won’t get you a relationship, and you’ll only become worse over time. Remember what I said about not having any soul left.
You see, women have been programmed for thousands of years, too. While men were programmed to want sex, make decisions, fight, and build—women were programmed to nurture. To stay at home. To raise babies. To maintain a hearth for her family. Everything that makes the feminine.
Now women are told that not only can they have it all, but they’re expected to do it all, too! They’re supposed to go to college, get a career in an office job, then find the love of her life and have babies (but after she’s lived a full youth). On top of it, they’re told they need to be just as analytical as men in the fields of engineering and science, they’re told that they should be decisive, and that they should fight and build things, too.
The result is a torment of their souls, too. Sure, there are exceptions to this. There are women who truly do want to be lawyers and doctors working 80 hour weeks. However, these are outliers. The vast majority of women seem to hate their boring office jobs at no cost. They don’t get the same satisfaction from work that men do. Men tend to build, and then women tend to nurture what has already been built.
Use a house as a prime example. The majority of construction workers in the world are going to be men. When a home is built, it’s a man who puts it all up. It’s the woman who then nurtures the home and makes it great. And a home needs that feminine touch, only that type of woman can provide it. Don’t kid yourself into thinking you can do it all, either. Men build, women nurture.
It’s a natural tendency to get really angry at women, the world (even though it’s very different in other places), and even your fellow men for a while, when you realize the truth. You become upset at the way that women naturally respond to a powerful man. Then there’s the reality—you’re not that powerful man. At the same time, it’s probably been women your whole life telling you indirectly not to be that powerful man. Be a nice guy and the right girl will pick you—right.
It’s absolutely terrifying knowing that you have your entire destiny in your own control now, which is why many men have such a hard time getting over the mountain. They’re facing the real world reality and can’t handle it. Like I said, they die full of regret. It’s a scary thing, having all the tools but no real idea where to start or how to use them. It’s far easier to retreat back into the “normal” and just live the life you’ve been programmed to live. Most can’t handle it. And it’s fair, because it’s the entire worldview that’s been instilled within you since birth being flipped upside down.
However, the only way you can build a new world is to just let go.