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May 28th, 2013

Germany Is A Social Graveyard

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To understand German culture is to understand history. Splintered by linguistic differences and the geopolitical influences of neighboring empires, Germany only emerged as a united country shortly before World War I. The powerful city-states of Bavaria, Prussia, Westphalia, and the Hanseatic north loosely coalesced, lacking the social homogeny of rival regional powers (e.g. England or France) and resulting in a patchwork of regional dialects, cultures, and values.

The contemporary cultural implications are vast and profound; following defeats in both World Wars and the political ramifications of communist and fascist governments, the historic cultural “German coldness” became even more deeply entrenched during the 1950’s and 1960’s, particularly in former East Germany. While some regions of Germany emerged largely untouched by this political ice age (e.g. Bavaria), the average German inherited a culture of social isolation, hesitant and reluctant to welcome strangers into existing social circles.

The castrated man

Glass and barbed wire at top of the Berlin Wall, 1962

The defeat of Nazi Germany and subsequent division of East and West Germany played the largest role in shaping contemporary German culture. The “denazification” process implemented by the Western allies stripped the German male population of the masculinity predominant in the U.S. or United Kingdom. The primal male urge to master oneself physically and spiritually and assert this dominance over others to achieve success is no longer relevant to the German man, and is vehemently opposed by the society in which he lives. He is passive, uncompetitive, lacks physical and mental willpower, and is unwilling to aggressively pursue career goals or fulfill sexual desires. Deviance from this mentality is largely viewed as a return to the masculine nationalistic ideologies responsible for World War II and the Holocaust.

In short, describing the average German man as a “beta” would be an enormous compliment. German women overwhelmingly reject signs of masculinity and have lowered their standards as a result. Should you choose to travel or live in this social graveyard, accept this, and use this to your advantage while preparing game strategies.

“Americans are peaches, Germans are coconuts”

As an American traveling or living in Germany, adjust your expectations accordingly. Do not expect to be welcomed with open arms into unfamiliar social circles. Do not expect to be greeted warmly when approaching a girl, as you will be treated with apathy at best, open hostility at worst. It takes a tremendous amount of effort to break the ice with someone new in Germany. As a result, the majority of people in Germany tend to socialize only with those they meet through prior introductions or through work.

As I once heard, “Americans are peaches, Germans are coconuts”. Germans make great long-term friends, but breaking the tough, outer shell is an enormous feat in itself. With all of their god-forsaken flaws, I have come to appreciate the softness and warmth of American women when approached for the first time.

Die deutsche Frau

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The German woman is well-dressed, educated, and extremely aggressive in pursuing career goals, oftentimes outpacing her male counterparts by wide margins (with the help of radical affirmative action policies, of course). Neofeminism has taken a firm hold of Germany, and the attitudes of the female population reflect this “emancipation.”

Despite varying degrees of physical attractiveness depending on region, the typical German woman is bland and boring, completely lacking originality and flavor. Do not expect to laugh with a German girl or enjoy a home cooked meal. German women tend to look, act, and dress the exact same; if you’ve met one, chances are, you’ve met them all.

From my experience here, there are two types of women in Germany: club rats and office ghosts.

The club rats are typically young students (18-25) and spend at least three days per week snorting amphetamines and taking home random Turks or Africans from clubs. Being an articulate, well-educated Westerner is not an advantage at all, even if you can speak the language fluently; neofeminism has convinced them they must prove they are not Nazis (a subconscious result of German post-war guilt) by sleeping with 10 off-the-boat immigrants per weekend. It’s important to note, however, that being an American doesn’t put you into this category. Avoid these women like the plague.

Office ghosts tend to be attractive, young professionals with tolerable personalities, yet are extremely difficult to find in a social setting outside of work. Practice your day game and head to the nearest Rewe grocery store (one of the more expensive stores, often frequented by young professionals) or book store. Keep in mind, this group still possesses a cold, skeptical, and distant personality when approached by a stranger, so keep your expectations low.

The only women generally worth pursuing in Germany are Eastern immigrants from Poland or Russia, or ERASMUS exchange students from Italy or Spain.

We’ve only screwed ourselves – the US Army and college students

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The long-term ramifications of maintaining a fluctuating force of between 50,000 and 100,000 American soldiers (a large portion of which lacks cultural perspective and post-secondary education) in a European country has proven to be largely detrimental to our image and reputation in Germany. Drunk driving accidents and clashes with locals are frequent. Entire cities have been reshaped by American presence, and in most locations, we are neither respected nor welcomed. Southern Germany (including Munich) is most affected.

Additionally, an obnoxious, uncultured influx of college exchange students over the past 10 years (typically white knight betas from Wisconsin or Ohio) has reinforced this negative stereotype of Americans. You can find these ridiculously loud idiots making embarrassing approaches in clubs and bars, often early in the night (10-11 PM) leaving the local stock with a bad impression by the time they’ve consumed a few drinks.

It’s worth noting in this context that the demise of the American man in Germany is largely a result of our own behavior while traveling abroad. Americans tend to be extremely loud, superficial, and display an arrogant unwillingness to adapt to new languages and cultures. It’s crucial to disprove these stereotypes in order to achieve social success in Germany – learn the language, lower the volume, and be respectful!

Why avoid Germany?

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To summarize, modern German culture, saturated with coldness and a general unwillingness to welcome newcomers into existing social circles, makes traveling within the country and meeting new people significantly less enjoyable or rewarding compared to other European countries. A pervasive post-war guilt complex, radical feminism, and decades of far-left governance have resulted in the widely held subconscious belief that masculinity is a detriment to society and a return to the nationalistic tendencies that destroyed the country. The presence of hundreds of thousands of American soldiers and students means the American man is no longer a cultural rarity as in Eastern Europe, Italy, or Spain, but rather a loud, obnoxious nuisance worthy of nothing more than an eye roll and “tschüss”. We are stale bread.

Is it possible to make great friends and have enlightening experiences living or traveling in Germany? Absolutely – but don’t be fooled by the rumors of quality beer and blondes in “dirndel” dresses. Germany has become a social graveyard with only a few old cathedrals and soccer games worth visiting. Save your money, head to a country with more hospitable people and weather, and you won’t regret it.

Read Next: The Final Verdict On Swedish Girls


About the Author

is a bilingual expatriate, international businessman, and aspiring musician currently living in northern Germany.

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