This past Friday, I realized how far I’ve come in understanding women.

Two years ago I remember taking this very pretty girl out on a date.  Let’s call her Ashley.  I had just broken up with my old girlfriend and was setup on a blind date.  Per persuasion from my mother and sister (and I not being strong enough to listen to my own beliefs), I picked Ashley up and took her to a nice wine bar and restaurant.  We had dinner, a glass of wine, and towards the end she mentioned how tired she was and that she’d like to go home, but that “we should definitely hang out again.”  So like a nice gentlemen I obliged and took Ashley home.  And I never heard from her again.

Fast forward to the present.  One of the girls I’m fucking seeing, told me she had plans for dinner with a friend on Friday night, but she’d like to “hook up” later if I was around.  I told her that can be arranged.  I had gone out every night last week, so when Friday came around I was sitting at home watching the NBA playoffs and just relaxing.  She texted me around 9:45 p.m. that she was just finishing up dinner and that she’d be home soon.  I told her I’d meet her there.

I put on my stained DARE shirt over a decade old, some loose jeans and sandals and headed over.  We immediately had sex and while we were laying around after, I thought I’d verify what I was presuming:

Me: Who’d you go to dinner with?

Her: My friend Peter.

Me: Ah, so you had a date?

Her: No it was not a date! We are just friends.

Me: Really.  Let me ask you something…did he pay for dinner?

Her: Well..yes.  But he knows we are just friends.

Me: He wants to sleep with you.

Her: He knows that’s not going to happen.

Me: Has he tried to kiss you ever?

Her: No.  Well, sort of.  He tried a pre-kiss.

Me: What the hell is a pre-kiss?

Her: He tried to hint at kissing me by kind of moving around weirdly near my face.  I don’t know how to explain it, but I could tell he was thinking of kissing me.

Me: Didn’t he wonder why you were leaving so early on a Friday night?

Her: Yeah he wanted to go get drinks after, but I told him I had to get up early to go hiking with a friend so I couldn’t… (guilty smile)

Of course going hiking with a friend was actually coming back to have sex with me, after Peter had taken her out for dinner already.  Which brings me to the main point for today:

Never Buy Dinner Prior To Banging

If you have been a student of the game by now you know this tenet very well as it’s almost common knowledge (e.g. see #13 here).  But since the above just happened to me, I thought I’d point it out in case any beginners or doubters still think otherwise.  Initially, aside from the potential of being a chump who she uses for free food, dinner dates are counterproductive to the end goal of sex.  The large meals soak up any alcohol you may have given her, sobering her up and increasing her inhibitions.  It can be awkwardly long.  You may have to sit across from each other at a table.  She may perceive you as trying to buy her affection (spoiler – you are).  It’s expensive.  And sadly in America, asking a girl to dinner = being a creeper.

Then there is the situation demonstrated by the anecdote above.  Buying her dinner will not make her want to have sex with you.  She’s already decided that way beforehand.  It’s better to be the one that fucks her after than to entertain her prior.  If she demands dinner, she was just using you anyway so move on.

The Two Exceptions

There are however two situations where purchasing a meal and/or having dinner can actually increase your chance of coitus:

1. The Home Dinner Date.

Roosh does a great explanation here, so I won’t repeat it but rather only append to it.  It’s a great screener to see if she’s interested in sex, because if you tell her you are going to cook, and she agrees to come over, she knows that you will be trying for sex.  As a bonus here is one of my secrets: the first thing you should have her do is chop an onion.  It will make her tear, potentially smear her makeup and you can poke fun at her and it immediately cuts all the awkwardness to the extent there was any to begin with.  When cooking move her around by the waist a lot, touch her hand/arm to show her how to do things, and so on.  You can physically escalate a lot.  I’ve had great success doing the home dinner date.

2. The Weekend Brunch Date.

Yes you read that right.  Brunch.  Some view it as gay, some view it as girly, but guess what?  Shit works.  Next to my previous apartment there was a bar that offered brunch with bottomless mimosas.  So I tried a date there.  Since it’s a bottomless drink and they refill mimosas every time they walk by, you don’t really know how many you have had.  And you don’t have to affirmatively request another one, they just fill it up.  So you eat, drink many mimosas and it’s only 3pm.  She should have nowhere else to go.  It’s too early for her weekend night plans.  Offer any reason to go back to your place, maybe a glass of water to “sober up” or smoke a cigarette on your patio and run standard escalation and you will have a good chance at a bang.  I’ve also had a lot of success implementing this date.

After The Bang

I actually like to treat a girl to a drink or nice meal.  It coincides with my natural desire to provide and fosters the evolutionary roles of men and women in how the man provides and the woman is provided for.  The problem is in Western culture if you provide before you penetrate, you’re a pussy.  So you have to tweak the process.  If you’ve now had sex with her, and you liked the sex or you like hanging out with her, I see no reason to not take her to a casual dinner or whatever else is within your means.  In the end, however, it’s in your best interests to adopt a Pavlovian approach to women where you reward good behavior (sex) with treats (dinner,dates, and time).

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