The dangers of pedestalization are well documented in the manosphere, but one source of that peril is frequently overlooked: the myth of “the 10”, and the dangers of buying into it.
You’ve all heard it before.
“She’s a solid 10”
“Perfect, she’s a 10/10!”
“She’s a hard ten!”
A 10 implies perfection. When you hand out that label, you’re basically saying that there is absolutely nothing wrong with that girl, nothing at all that’s even slightly less than perfect on her. Even the most beautiful women have some sort of flaw physically and probably at least a couple of additional intangible imperfections. They themselves can often be very forthcoming about these flaws, and that is to be expected. Imperfection is our reality. They are all humans, and humans are naturally imperfect.
When you give out a “10”, you imply otherwise—that she’s transcended human norms of imperfection and become flawless or goddess-like. This is a mentality that naturally lends itself to the supplication and widespread pedestalization that has become rampant in our society. Men are too willing to elevate good-looking women into the realm of the divine where no human belongs.
Think about a girl in your mind who you’ve ever seen labeled a 10. Is she truly flawless? Is there nothing about her that, were you a god, you would make better? Could her boobs be shaped a little more pleasingly? Is her face the prettiest you’ve ever seen? If her face is the prettiest, then does she have a good waist-to-hip ratio to go with it? How are her teeth—could they be whiter? Could her stomach be tighter? Could she have better legs or height? I could go on.
The bottomline is that an objectively flawless woman (a real “10”) cannot be nitpicked. If you can find anything at all you’d like better on her, she isn’t a 10. If a large number of other men can find something they don’t like (even if you can’t quite do it yet), then she isn’t a 10. After all, if a girl were truly perfect there really wouldn’t be any significant number of men who could find obvious fault with her. Human subjectivity prevents this (beauty, though based on objective traits, is subjective beyond a certain point).
Put simply, if any other girl does any one thing (face, hips, etc) better than her, she isn’t a 10. She isn’t without flaws.
The use of this label has a couple of impacts. Firstly, we talk about many girls having inflated egos, and I honestly believe this is part of why. We have too many guys telling them that they are perfect, flawless, entirely without fault and unable to do wrong. If you were that girl getting the “10” label all the time (on top of all the other kinds of red carpet treatment men give you), you’d probably have the same flaky attitude. People have basically said that you are perfection—you can’t be wrong. Why settle for any given guy when you’ve been deemed perfect and absolutely flawless?
On the other hand, even the vainest and most gorgeous women are aware of the fact that they are a) human and b) flawed in some way(s). This raises questions about precisely which signals the men using these “perfect ten” labels are sending to the girls they’re attaching them to. Since these realities are painfully obvious to her, she has to make one of three conclusions when she encounters a man who seems oblivious to them:
1. The man is simply too stupid to see these realities.
2. The man is too desperate or thirsty to acknowledge them.
3. Some combination of the above.
Regardless of which conclusion she settles on, the end result is the same: a man who isn’t capable of recognizing these realities couldn’t be worth much.
When guys ignore such realities and continue to hold females to a standard that even the girls themselves know they can’t objectively meet, they engage in dangerous pedestalization and risk displaying very low value. Self-aware men should recognize this risk, and avoid it. Recognize that all women (even the most gorgeous) are people just like you, not goddesses immune to the realities of human imperfection. Once you’ve done that, proceed to treat them accordingly.
Do this, and you’ll have taken a small but significant step forward in the drive to calm the pedestalization epidemic, while also adopting a mindset whose honesty holds more appeal to women than any supplicating praise could hope to. Despite some claims to the contrary, women (especially those who are more attractive and have many options) are constantly looking for ways to separate the masculine chaff (desperate, needy, insecure, supplicating, beta) from the more worthy wheat. The overuse by some men of the “ten” label and its implied perfection (perfection nearly all women know they can’t actually match) only makes it easier for them to spot the chaff.
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