When Having A Harem Makes You Lazy

I’ve mentioned before that my preferred style is to have a few girls around at any given time. Being able to pick a different girl to see a few times a week has its benefits. First of all you have sex on tap so you can focus on more important things such as your health or the acquisition of money. Maybe you don’t like going to bars to drink and pick up women all that often, or maybe you feel your time can be better spent. Fuck buddies provide two things: convenience and variety.

Like most men I enjoy the high you get after having sex with a woman within a few hours of meeting her, but more often than not I’d take seeing a girl for a few months over one or two drunken SNLs a month. Call me a romantic, but I enjoy spending time with the girls I choose to have sex with. I’d rather have the knowledge and memories you get from seeing a girl for a few months over the fleeting feeling of a drunken hookup.

However, there is a point at which having a steady rotation of women becomes a rationalization for laziness. A girl you keep around should always bring something more than average sex to the table. Whether it be: crazy kinky sex, someone to discuss movies with, someone who enjoys cooking as much as you etc. You should always try to learn something about either yourself or life when spending a few hours a week with a girl for a few months. One girl does not have to fit every role of your ideal woman, but she should at least have something in common with her.

I had what I thought was the ideal situation for a few months—3 girls at any time I had on call who I’d normally see once a week and in those same months a few new girls who either replaced the old ones or were a one night stand. As time went on though, I started focusing much more on things other than girls, so much so that they were just in the background. My approaches were few and far between. It finally hit me how rusty my game had gotten when I moved away, regained the hunger, and started approaching girls again.

4 Signs You Should Drop A Girl From Your Rotation

1. You hesitate: provided she is not overly attached let’s say you get a text with a sexy picture begging for you to come over and have your way with her. A slight moment of hesitation will tell you how attracted you really are to her. If you think “but I’d rather watch ___ ” or “I was going to get to bed early tonight and it will take me 10 minutes to get there an hour or two to bang and hang out then 10 minutes to get back… I’ll be exhausted in the morning,” you might just be keeping her around for convenience sake.

2. You use her as a masturbatory aid: a few moments fantasizing about Emily Ratajkowski blowing you instead of your girl is completely healthy, but if you need to fantasize about fucking other girls just to get off there’s something wrong with the situation you’re in. You need to drop the girl as quickly as possible and replace her with the girl you’re fantasizing about.

3. She is always your plan B: if you have to consistently fall back on any particular girl because your game is off at the bar you might want to check your game. It’s easy to keep the cycle going and just end up always seeing the girl. If you can’t get laid with new girls so you fall back on an old one you’d be better off re-evaluating your game and starting from scratch.

4. You don’t like spending time with her: aside from the sex what do you two share? Do you watch a certain TV show after you bang, are you more interested in the TV show than her? Do you wonder more about when she is going to leave (so you can get back to what you want to be doing) than enjoying the presumably great sex you just had?

All of these signs are a result of laziness, the complacency that can come with seeing a girl for an extended period of time. As Roosh once wrote “Complacency is second only to laziness as a game killer.” You get comfortable with her, but every once and a while you’ll be itching for more. As soon as she stops bringing value to the table and as soon as you lose your desire to go meet new women, you are beginning to tread water. Regression of your skills will result.

 Read Also: 8 Signs You Should Break Up With A Girl