How Not To Mean What You Say

Have you noticed all the hypocrisy that surrounds us no matter where we turn? It seems that we have gotten used to having people say one thing but do the opposite.

I can’t remember how many times I heard some guy say about how “spiritual” he is and how much he doesn’t care about money or material possessions only to see him drive away in a shiny Porsche or BMW shortly after. I’ve also noticed repeatedly that if someone says that they don’t care about money, it’s a sure sign they very much do—a lot. There is nothing wrong with caring about money, but there’s a big difference between being honest about its value and being in denial about idolizing it.

I have gone on quite a few dates with women who wouldn’t shut up about how accomplished and independent they were. They probably didn’t realize how ridiculous they looked to me when I would walk them back at the end of our date to their beat up car that belonged in the junk yard.

One of the more entertaining hypocritical statements that some women make is along the lines of: “I am not high maintenance; I just like nice things” or “I don’t care about money or meeting a rich guy. I just want to have a comfortable life without stressing out about money, my job, etc…”

The other seemingly harmless and typical claim that’s often charged with so much hypocrisy is any statement that start with “Trust me.” When I hear this from someone I don’t know, I am really temped to respond with “Why should I?”  Trust is earned through a repeated showing of reliability and character, not because you say so.

There is one place, however, where hypocrisy truly thrives more than anywhere else – the online dating world. Don’t you just love it when someone says in their profile: “I am always happy.” How is that possible? Even a double daily dose of Xanax is not going to keep you happy 100% of the time. Do these people who live in that supposedly constant state of bliss deceive others as much as themselves?  Is “always happy” synonymous with being bipolar and suicidal, the same way as “single and fabulous” became synonymous with lonely and desperate, thanks to Sex and the City?

But hey, can we blame individuals for being hypocrites if the entire nation carries a big flag of hypocrisy on its shoulders? The next time you hear the “it’s a free country”, ask yourself whether freer countries exist where prostitution and light drugs have been legalized many years ago and where you can drink a beer on the beach. These are the same countries where dubious laws don’t paralyze men in the workplace with the fear of sexual harassment lawsuits that can blacklist them from their careers.

Abolishing hypocrisy on a personal and national level should be the first major step toward cleansing our minds and seeing things for the way they really are.  Once we stop assuring others of who we are as individuals and as  a nation, and instead let our actions speak rather than words, we will save ourselves from conflict and disappointment—with others and with ourselves.

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