As a divorced father of two daughters, and a RVF active member, I see articles on raising sons (examples 1, 2, 3 and 4, all from this year alone on ROK). Raising a son is an important matter, as most of us here at ROK are boys.
But wait a minute! 50% of the population is females. Those of us who are fathers (writer included) may also have daughters. The discussions here as I mentioned, are more about sons. What about daughters?
I could sit with myself, complain, or take it to the comments section. But that is not the way the manosphere practices. So I decided to write my own list of tips, based on my know-how so far. I have been on the red-pill for three years now, and I wish to share with my fellow readers what I have learned.
It seems that raising girls is far easier than boys. Even if this is true, it is no walk in the park. It is difficult, to some extent, but can be also rewarding.
1. Teach her what guys and girls find attractive
We all know the answer to that one. But a child does not. Children are not blank slate, but they are unaware of “how the world works”. It is my responsibility as the patriarch to show them.
In order to starve the hamster in advance, I give my daughters tools and the language to understand. Kids have a very strong hamster, as do females (we all know that).
Since early times, people have used stories and myths to educate. This is truer at a young age, as they are not yet teenagers. I often use stories and examples, as kids sometime struggle with “concepts” or “genralities”.
Example: Mr. Peabody & Sherman (the movie)
Some movies illustrate red pill better than others. You also need to find one which the kids relate to. For this article I picked Mr. Peabody & Sherman. It is a fun movie, staring male protagonists which are likable.
During the movie, when the heroes go back in time to save Penny (the child who beat him up and called him names), Sherman talks of her in a “love stroke” manner. In our words – he is attracted to her.
“Why do you think he is attracted to her?” I asked my daughters. Notice how I emphasized attraction rather than “love”. Kids need to parse their environment in the right manor. If you call it love, later in life girls will have a problem separating attraction with love.
Their hamster ran as excuses came out one after the other. They dished out multiple explanations, which I will not name, but would make some us laugh.
“It is because she is pretty” I explained. “Boys are attracted to pretty girls. This is what boys prefer.” I continue, “You can see it also in your school, and that pretty girls get more attention”. They acknowledge it, as they have witnessed it firsthand. Lesson hammered in. I repeat it every time we witness it.
“Dad, were you attracted to Mom because she was pretty?” They have asked. I confirmed. They now know that beauty is important. But there is more.
Later in the movie, after Sherman rescues Penny, she is smitten by him. She starts treating him better, and even stands up for him to his “father”. This is not something you do for a person you abused and ridiculed (actually on the same day, at school – if one recalls the plot).
“Why is she attracted to him? She wasn’t before,” I asked them.
Their hamster ran again. Fast. Excuses were coming out, repeating most of what they said before. They even try to say that Sherman is handsome.
“It is because he is now successful,” I explained. “Girls are attracted to successful boys”.
That rang a bell as they sometimes have a crush on one of the boys. Now they know why they feel attracted and not “LOVE”. My other point is that you should not, at their age, discuss Alpha and Beta. This is for a later age. You cannot talk to young girls about “Alpha” male, or “Beta”. I decided to run with “successful”.
Next is the concept of “The Wall”
Taking CH advice:
Tell her with uncompromising bluntness that she is pretty now, and all the boys notice her, but her prettiness will disappear faster than she knows (or can possibly know at her tender age), and there will come a time, always much sooner than she had hoped, when none of the boys will notice her.
My daughters know that they should be married by their mid-20s. I use their mom and other moms of their friends and asking: ”How successful will her boyfriend be, if she was single?”. They look at the fathers of their friends, and at least some of the time it is obvious. My eldest told me that her mom told her that being married at 25 is too young. I replied by stating that her mother has actually no strength running after them, and that they as young moms would have the strength to do things with their children. Message well understood.
2. Show her how guys hit on girls
I day game sometimes. I don’t do it much in front of my girls, because they will cockblock me. It happened a few times before I “stopped”. I recall one time that they ran interference at a wedding, when I was about to number close a young hot girl.
But if we are in a restaurant for example, I tease the waitresses. I use pet names, boss them around a little bit and treat her as a small child. The waitresses usually take it very well, and sometime even blush.
My daughters start to giggle. “Dad, I don’t know why, but I feel good when you do that,” my elder told me. “It is because older girls are like young girls. They love it when a successful man makes fun of them” I explained. “Also, you see that the waitress was responding well. She likes it,” I add. They witnessed it, and now they know how it feels and how it looks when a guy hits on a girl and what an interaction between boys and girls looks like.
Lesson hammered again. As a side benefit, now my daughters feel better knowing that their father is “Successful”. I’ll admit that my game level is intermediate at best, but good enough is good enough.
3. Connect them to their tradition
I’m not religious, nor traditional in my way of life. I’m atheist and does not feel the presence of god in the world. That does not mean that my heritage should be forgotten. On the contrary, one must have roots. Otherwise we will become leafs blowing in the wind.
In every Jewish holiday or event, I speak with them about it. We practice some of the rituals, since stories are good, and actually doing something is sometimes better. I use my parents for this as well (also atheist but feel the same about heritage as me).
My daughters have a good sense (for their age) about history. When we travel in our country I try to revive stories of the Bible for them. This is available in most of the country, and for you guys at your homeland as well.
I also use the bed time story for this purpose. I try to combine legends (which kids love) from our heritage. There are a lot. I alternate myths from my heritage with others (Greek mythology for example). One can find hordes of stories in one’s heritage of all types and purposes.
4. Work on their femininity
We are man and we practice masculinity. Femininity? Red-pill guys? How exactly? One would assume that this is the mom’s job. So what? We all know that women are not to be trusted with responsibility. So I gladly take some of this burden upon myself.
You can do it too. The funny things is that it is not that hard. It also correspond with the red-pill.
First example: Women highest calling
“What is the most important thing that girls can do?” I ask them. “Give birth” they answer. “And raise the child,” I add. This is something I always find the place to mention to them. There is nothing more important than continuation of our species. “Dad, what if we didn’t have kids?” They ask. “It will be the end of the world for our family,” I answer. “The family line will be lost”. It took some time to understand this, but now they get it. Now they know that kids are crucial and that they should have them and take care of them.
Second example: Chores around the house
Not my best one (to say the least), but I try to have them do feminine chores around the house: Cook with me, fold laundry and so on. Just because I live alone and do masculine and feminine chores does not mean that my daughters can’t learn it also from me.
This is something that I lack, and should delegate more to them. It is a matter of preferences (I’m lazy in those parts and outsource some of those chores). When done correctly, you get your daughter accustomed to doing chores.
Third example: Looks
In this case I have a good deal of help from their mom. She emphasizes looks, dresses well and wears makeup. Kids need to have discipline and getting dressed, even for girls is sometimes tiresome. Trust me, I use to be like that. When they sometime complain, I remind them that looks are important (see tip #1). This is where a cooperation between parents really kicks it in, and a lot of people mentioned how well they dress.
Whenever they form an opinion on someone (based on their looks), I hammer it home again. Looks are women’s top and dominant SMV component.
Forth example – Future career
Kids do a lot of thinking on what they want to do when they grow up. That may change on an hourly, daily or monthly basis. I had my daughters move from teachers to waitresses to babysitters and to doctors – all in the course of one day.
When they come to me with the new career, I remind them that they will need to also be there for their kids when they are young. Then you see them spin the wheel to show me how it works great with a child (or more). At that time I also remind them that since they will marry a successful man (god, I hope so!) he will be the one providing for them, and they will assist.
5. Reward feminine behavior
Let’s face it, it’s kids. They will fumble, belch, swear and do stuff that they are not suppose to. It is part of growing and also of testing their boundaries.
I punish swiftly. Explain shortly what they did wrong and then punish. If it is a good behavior I reward it. It is virtually the same as when you date, only you care more.
- Taking away their time with me (for example – not getting a bed time story). This is for when they disrespect my time. Time is important to me, as they know I make efforts to be on time.
- Tactical anger – my daughters have told me that they fear me. Good. If kids have no fear there will be no discipline. Other dads (or moms) may say that it is not good, and that love is enough. YEH RIGHT! I ignore or take the time to explain that fear is crucial.
Never actually lose your temper. Calm down once the point was made. If you cannot calm yourself, walk away and breathe. Losing one’s temper completely is weakness.
- Not paying allowance – if it is disrespect to my money. This happens when they break stuff (on purpose or that it could have been avoided). I use less of this punishment as it correlates poorly from a time perspective.
I think you get the hang of it. If you want to take their TV time, have a supporting reason. “Because I said so” teaches them that power is arbitrary (and drives them to accumulate power). Punishment should fit the crime.
- Verbally – most easiest reward. Giving a good word is immediate. One must not abuse it. When you give praise, look into their eyes and mean it. Kids know when you are “half arsing” it.
- Treats – you may use this on occasion. Usually amounts to a few dollars. If it is an “all-for-dollar” store even better, It gives them a sense of independence and correlate good behavior with physical reward.
- Activity – “You get to pick where will go on Saturday” is one of their favorites. My daughters in particular, and kids in general sometimes like to “steer the wheel”. Giving them that opportunity (not every week!) makes them feel loved and respected, which again is a good correlation between action and reward.
6. Make them play an instrument and practice sport
One of my younger protégé (member of the RVF, which I mentor) told me that a high quality girl either practice sport and/or plays an instrument. He makes the effort of not dating girls who have no depth (pun not intended). Playing an instrument or practicing sports means that you develop character.
Apart from the obvious benefits, it also sets them up for higher quality boys. I know that their hypergamy might also rise, but I’ll take that chance. After all they are my daughters, and I know what’s best for them.
Both my daughter practice sports and one is already playing the piano. The second will start next year on an instrument of her choice. They know it and, to my great luck, enjoy it. If your kids does not enjoy sports or music for some reason, look for alternatives.
7. Be there to give meaning to the world
The world is messy, unfair and sometimes not understood. For a child this can be overwhelming. I had my daughter cry every few weeks at “events” that disturb their childish worldview. As a father it is my responsibility to make sense for them. They ask a lot of questions, and get serious answers.
Starting from “the birds and the bees”, I’m there explaining and making sense. I also encourage them to question me and see if the world view I provide is wrong. They ask a lot, sometime repeat themselves – but I’m patient and urge all fathers to be. Making sense of the world is done in a peaceful and respectful manor.
Remember that mythology teaches us that the masculine gives order to the world. It is the case in most, if not any myths I’m familiar with. A serious task, which one takes upon himself once one becomes a father.
8. Show what happens to “Bad Girls”
There is an appeal for the “dark side”. Even if in movies the bad person gets what’s coming, my daughters (as every other female) have that attraction for “bad behavior”. They see that it is “cool” and has rewards in the form of attention and ability to “do what you want”.
Yes, female behavior should be controlled, but that is easier said than done. What can a divorce father do? Spanking is out of the question (legally). I have a problem with blocking the TV and internet completely.
My answer is to inoculate them as much as I can. Introducing the concept of “wrong/bad kind of attention”.
You come across a YouTube clip, say of Katy Perry. “Dad, they are showing the wrong kind of attention,” my daughters come to inform me. “I know. You realize what will happen to girls who do it?” I ask. “They will get use to it, and have a difficult time using their brain or doing stuff because they are use to it,” they answer. “She will do bad things to herself to get attention.”
Immune. They now come to me telling me when they come across it. I know that some of you may claim it is not enough. This is the best tool that I can utilize under the circumstances and it works. You may also use it for commercials. Basically exposing the “media” lies repeatedly makes one more immune (not totally) to it.
9. Explain to them that it is their life, but you are here to show them what to do and support them
Daughter: “Dad, will you help me pick a husband? I want to have a successful one”
Me: “Yes. But it is YOUR CHOICE. I can give my advice but you will live with him”
Other Daughter: “Dad, how can we know if a guy is successful?”
Me (rubbing my hands with pleasure): “Good question. You will be attracted to him, but he also has to treat you well, like I do. He must also be loyal to you, as you will be loyal to him. He will need to have a good job, as he provides for you.”
There are more discussions of this sort going on every now and then. Talk more with your daughters about their husband, otherwise they will be fixated about their wedding. I also bring marriage life, and inform them that since their mother and I broke up, they should learn from our experience and marry better.
10. Teach them not to be bullied
Yes, it’s girls and they are coddled. Yes, school has a strict policy against bullying and fighting. And YES – that does not mean anything today. Your kid, boy or girl, can be bullied. It my kids, so it’s my responsibility.
I teach them to fight back. Never start, but if harassed, punch back, and punch hard. This may seem counter to feminine behavior but it is not. When attacked, one must strike back – male or female. Girls should know how to defend themselves.
Like Ender in “Ender’s Game” you fight not to win this battle, but to win all future ones. For those who remember the first fight of Ender at the beginning of the book.
I also warn them about what I call “Victim mentality”. They are not victims, and I will answer to the school. It happened and I did. The teacher and counselor were told, by me, that I don’t allow them to start a fight. However, since they were punched they should punch back. I take responsibility. They were somehow puzzled, and mumbled about a “non-violent school”. I said again that my daughters will not engage, unless physically provoked. My frame was strong enough that they left it as is.
When kids in their class told them that it was wrong, they came to me. I asked them to look at the kids’ behavior. Guess what? Almost everyone punches back. Speaking to an aggressor does not solve the problem, and I’m sure as hell don’t want them depending on authority.
This is also a good time to talk about successful guys that will physically defend them. Yes, alpha males are aggressive when it come to our females. We will defend them, if they are attacked.
11. Pick your battles
My TV fight is a lost cause. I will limit it but not take it out of the house. I will watch with them to provide red-pill guidance. I know that advice on the manosphere is to disengage the MSM, but in this case I choose not to, for my own reasons.
However, I have shown them repeatedly that TV and media should not be trusted. They have witnessed it repeatedly. I sat with them during movies, shows of different kinds and negated the messages (girl power and boys being no good). I had a lot of talks with them about it. But I know that the TV will remain in the house.
I know that some of the fights are not worth fighting. We have a specific amount of energy. You need to pick your battles and not to alienate your kids. Also, sometimes if we win it will be a Pyrrhic victory.
I consider myself stricter than most of the fathers I know, but each year I give them more space and allow them to push the boundaries. It is part of growing up. If you boundary was breached, you can either tactically get angry, or sometimes just say “NO”. But again, know when to lose.
There is a lot of talk about raising red-pill boys. I understand the importance. There is very little discussion on raising girls, at least that I have seen. What I write here is my lesson learned of my last three years of red-pill awakening.
I’m already waiting for the time that they’ll have boyfriends. I may AMOG them, but for sure I’ll have the talk Roosh had with his sister. This is already saved on my hard drive and on my cloud storage. The day will come (in a few years’ time) when it will be relevant. I have practiced it sometimes with girls in my harem, and they all acknowledge that the message is strong and true.
That does not mean I will be successful. I have most of the world against me, including the education system and the media. However I feel comfortable that my daughters will be way less damaged than the rest. Who knows, maybe the change back to patriarchy we are discussing will happen during their generation. In this case they will have an upper hand on other girls.