You haven’t seen many game articles from me in the past year, creating the impression that I quit the game entirely and am ready to renounce my previous books Bang and Day Bang. Many religiously minded men suspect I’ve found God or experienced a spiritual awakening. The plainer truth is that I still use game every single day, not to gain notches or casual sex, but within the dynamic of a relationship. From this new experience, I’m convinced that game is just as essential to maintaining relationships with non-sluts, especially in the modern age.
Approach game vs relationship game
For over ten years I used “approach game,” where I would cold approach women, present the most attractive version of myself based on my understanding of the true nature of women, and apply logistical tactics to seal the deal quickly and efficiently. This style of game has helped thousands of men with their sex life, whether their goal was to gain a notch or enter a relationship.
As many people predicted, I got tired of sleeping with random women. My dopamine receptors burned out to where I saw no point in duplicating sexual experiences and pursing notches with sluts. I also began to feel degraded from putting my phallus in so many dirty women who I had no respect for. So I changed course and eased into a monogamous relationship with a girl who meets my standards and has stronger values.
Even though I don’t approach women anymore, I’m still using game. I’m hyper-conscious about my girl’s behavior and actions along with my own, and I work at managing the gap between our nature and self-interest in a way that ensures our relationship is successful.
While this relationship isn’t the same as approaching ten girls in the club every night, it still uses the same part of my brain, along with skills that carry over from juggling many women at once. In terms of the differences, approach game requires more balls, grit, and energy while relationship game requires more emotional control and leadership.
I met my current girl through approach game, so for me to denounce that would be the same as wishing my relationship never would have happened. Approach game is a tool that is extremely useful for men who are introverted or lack a robust social circle while living in a large city (i.e. any man who has moved away from his hometown after high school). For these men, knowing how to approach women is just about required to meet a girl on the same socio-attractiveness level as him.
This doesn’t mean that my past writing is without flaws. If I were to write my game books all over again, I would make two changes:
1. Focus less on encouraging notch-building and “banging.” Building notches is not an effective long-term method to building your masculinity or confidence. For a time, however, I really thought that banging a lot of girls was the answer to happiness, and now that I see it’s not, I can advise men on what I learned and how—after a period of necessary experience—game should be used more as a tool than a lifestyle.
2. Advise men to stay away from mentally unstable girls. My advice did push men to sleeping with girls who were extremely promiscuous. The problem with this type of female is that they have issues that could cause men a lot of problems, ranging from stalking to false rape accusations. I want to focus more on keeping men out of harm’s way.
Most men would suffer without basic game knowledge
If you are a man living in the United States and are not in the top 10% in terms of attractiveness, and don’t have some innate knowledge of approach game or relationship game, there’s a good chance you won’t lose your virginity until your early 20’s or beyond. Even with my recent embrace of more traditional values, you can’t entirely skip out on game, because we no longer live in a traditional world, as the neomasculinity manifesto describes.
I mentioned this fact in my State Of Man speech last year (speech transcript is included in my book Free Speech Isn’t Free):
It now takes hundreds of hours of game work and self-improvement work to enter a sexual relationship with a girl who is good looking. Did your dad have to put in a hundred hours to meet your mom? My dad had to take a shower every day. (Laughter and clapping.) Is that enough now? (No.) A shower every day… come on.
Using traditional behavior on women who are non-traditional may get you killed, and I do mean that in a literal sense if you consider all the men who commit suicide after getting divorce raped by modern wives they attempted to treat in a traditional manner. Even celebrities like Robin Williams, who hung himself because of a bad divorce, are not immune.
If I were to tell men right now not to use game and just be a traditional man like their grandfathers, I’d be sending them to their doom. It would be nothing short of betrayal. I’m sure many of you want to be traditional, as I do, but unless you hit the lottery and find a traditional girl in some conservative pocket of America who is immune from the negative influences around her, you’re stuck with women who have toxic progressive ideas in their minds that can only be screened, tamed, and managed with logical game application.
I’m not going to tell you right now to hit the nightclub, get drunk, and bring home a slut, but I will say that it is just about essential for you to have the ability to start conversations with women, maintain attraction, and steer female behavior in a focused way that ensures a successful relationship. Your father or grandfathers didn’t have to acquire these manually, and a lucky few of you reading right now possess natural talents or a favorable locale that allow you to skip out on game learning entirely, but most of you, like myself, need to be taught this knowledge.
My future game writing will focus on meeting girls who are less promiscuous than average and how to maintain relationships with them. Until we revert back to a traditional society, men are going to need game, and if they choose me as their teacher I will be blunt to them about their prospects. As much as we wish we can just be ourselves or be an honorable man, those days are long gone, meaning that today’s man needs game more than ever.
This article was originally written on Roosh V.